Its Impossible to Love Me

I can't trust anyone,

so many times I have been

let down,

 

I'm lonely,

but I don't want to get involved,

because I know it will end in the same

result,

 

No one can love me,

its impossible because you will only leave

and block me out of your life for good,

 

You don't understand what it feels like

living with these memories, they eat me

like a cancer, know one wants to know,

it easier to just let go, easier to walk away

 

I have no one to help me but myself,

and its so exausting trying to hold it all in,

its so exausting feeling love that others denied me

 

I wish I could let it go,,

but its so hard, because its all I have

are these painful memories of rejection

 

I mourn and think about them everyday

even though I know they forgot me,

 

I want to let it go,

I have to in order to survive

 

I want to love,

but I know it will just poison me again,

add to the load that I already carry,

the pressure continues to build,

the memories pile up like hay,

 

I tried to say goodbye,

but they didn't want that,

they just wanted to leave me behind,

and never look  back at the monster

they have created.

 

 

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