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rubber bands
i don't want to cut anymore
but i need the pain
its the only way i can stay sane
i miss the the release it gave me
the way i stayed sane
when nobody else could see
what was going on inn my life
but i have to stop
even though i miss the sharp sting agony
even though it got rid of the misery
the blood dripping down
i always cried
as i watched it pool and then dried
so now i always where a rubber band
i can bull it back so tight
and just let go
nobody even has to know
the welts fade away
and i begin to feel okay
i dont even have to hide
or wait till there's nobody around
just a quaint little snapping sound
and then that familiar sting
i feel so much better
i can snap it once
or a million times
over and over again
i dont have to pretend
that i hurt myself on accident
cause its planned secretly
shhh
nobody has to know
nobody will see
what the rescuing the rubber band has done for me
snap snap snap
even now
this is my escape
this is exactly how
i go on each day
i dont care what anybody has to say
even if it is still bad
its my wrist
my bad habbit
everyone has them
but to me its good
it keeps me clinging on
lets me know im still alive
even when i dont want to be
the rubber band
is a part of me
That is hands down the most
That is hands down the most impressive coping mechanism I have ever seen devised! You are magnificent in the way you explain it so rationaly! But it is something deeper refused to be taken control of, yet here it is boxed controlled of sorts. An addiction to pain... Sometimes it starts of as silly as tweaking a paper cut... But then some people eat soap and pull out thier eyelashes go figure? Glad to see this is working for you, hopefully you move to owning it like a master and put it away altogether! That is my hope for you. Fantastic write! Cheers to your inner strength. SS
Don't let any one shake your dream stars from your eyes, lest your soul Come away with them! -SS
"Well, it's love, but not as we know it."