she's still paying tuition, even though her intuition
tells her she's already a college dropout by definition
mind isn't there, no care, but she isn't a failure
wishes she took time before she picked a career
mom steered the direction, she went along with the ride
going to classes with books, but leaving her brain behind
so lost in the future, the present she doesn't see
so much time spent inside, focused on insecurity
spends hours getting ready, just going to class
push up bra, tna, to show off her tits and ass
and she's picture posting, the attention gets her high
but all highs fall, thats something she's come to realize
smoked to be a bad bitch, but now that shits addiction
got faded for the same reason, but now the funs affliction
different beds different nights, new liquor steeper pour
trying to fill that empty void but just loses herself more
she's had dreams and aspirations, they fill her journal pages
whispers say they'll never happen, wishing there where no cages
so the goals never play out, she's too afraid of failure
except for in her sleep, but now theres only nightmare
always thought life was more than a ride on a carousal
still remembers sunday mornings, still waits for him to call
she doesn't love herself, hopes one day someone else can
but with no self wealth, she can't seem to keep a man
probably stems from, her dad never really being around
and even when he'd pick her up, he was always letting her down
so now she feels the need to please, gives rides without the key
abused mentally, emotionally, and physically
she's exhausted, nothing more she wants to explore
inhales a bottle of vicodin, head hits the bathroom floor