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Audience Reaction (A Found Ego Boost)
ARGH!
I hate you!
I hate you with all your talents and words...
and and and...argh. hahaha...i'm just
playing...you're one of my favorite poets...most definitely...you've earned yourself another fan
i like this poem
I think it is worthy, and calls for an arrangement.
Pretty interesting! Unusual idea for a poem. I like it!
elegant with a penetrating energy! :)
Excellent dramatic poem.--it is very suggestive and evocative. I like the way you
handle dialogue and intesperse it with short, sharp descriptions. I like the way the poem
suggests a God who "regrets" his dealings with his son Lucifer. God's regret seems to
suggest that God has not always been fair to Lucifer. In the poem, God acknoledges
Lucifer's "work" as "supremely graceful," suggesting not only that God is aware of the
Prince of Darkness's divine nature, but that he has done a fine work. Does this recognition
on God's part mean Lucifer is in fact doing God's work? Lucifer's reference to his dark "duties,"
may support this contention. Line 26 would also seem to support this view. In line 26,
Lucifer refers to God's "darkest of lights." Traditionally, Lucifer's light has been "dark,"
since his fall from Heaven. HIs is a light that neither illumines nor gives warmth.
If Lucifer has always been a "part of everything," of God's design, this would also
suggest that Lucifer is in fact doing God's work. Not only that, in lines 13-14, Lucifer speaks
of being "wound[ed]...to the marrow" by God, an acknowledgment of God' cruelty.
"Enough is enough!" exclaims God at the beginning of the poem--yet, he seems
unable to stop the evil he seems to be responsible for. There is an unsurmountable gap
between him and his fallen son. Lucifer not only says so in the poem,
but "quietly turns away/ And rips [the map home] to pieces." Excellent! Matthew!
Very good ending. Some suggestions: wouldn't it be a good idea to
capitalize "Old Enmity" (l. 3)? This would individualize the reference to Lucifer and
add strength to the line. I am not very sure I like the word "said," (l. 2). It is a very
plain term and I feel it is a bit weak and non-descriptive. "Lightbringer," (l. 26) seems a
bit misleading. As I mentioned before, Lucifer's light does not actually shine, its
essence is basically cold black light. "Lightbringer" has positive connotations: to bring
light to something or someone, to enlighten, to "bring to light," which
one would not normally think of as applying to Lucifer. I find punctuation somewhat inconsistent.
Sometimes there are commas and periods; sometimes they are ommitted.
This is a bit disconcerting, and makes some parts difficult to understand. All in all, it is a great poem.
Excellent handling of the subject. Keep up the good work!
ah, ues... there can only be light because there is darkness... and i've visited both... yr poem well done. good insight into life.
charming poem
I enjoy your phrasing and the emotion you put forth in your work... a poet's poet. Thanks for sharing.
good imagery... liked reference to rainclouds/rock
Another good title - how could you not look at this one.
For me the images in this poem seem to materialise out of the mist - becomeing clearer towards the end.
powerful imagery ..... wow
I really like this line: "With a thump and a bump slides brainward" and the ending..."fall floorward" good visual description
I love this piece, great visual description and selection of words. I can sense a feeling of
pain from the childs character which draws me to your poem even more. Superb work.
this one was a cool read..... I like the baboon ....
(Sur)real beautiful!
Earth and sky
flora(or the lack there of)
fauna and machine all meeting
here on the page. Brilliant.
makes me want to go
home to mother. Great piece -
keep writing - Keep the faith.
This ones a bit like a really long haiku. I rather like it but can't get to listen to the wind for very long
because the image of the baboon trying to tear your arm off springs into mind.
I'm DEFINITELY never writing again.
I don't know how to comment on such a poem! It captivated me as I read it over and over again.
I usually hate poems that are this hard to comprehend, but somehow this poem is different.
It begs me to challenge myself to understand it. Admittedly, I still haven't, but I'm having
fun picking up new things each time. I'm curious as to what events, feelings or situation inspired this?
what will those that come from the future think of our society..... will they think that we were murders
of innocense, beauty, honesty, most of all..... were we the death of our selves....
we will one day be ash.... then it is too late..... powerful poem
will have to read this riddle
within a conundrum more than once
Very intriguing poem.. I always read your poetry with great interest because you write
about such unique things, from such a unique perspective. Thanks for sharing. I thought it to be very poetic.
the depth of your writing is intense.... I love that work I have read so far....
hope to read all that you have posted here so far.... but starting with those that have no critique.... you are truly of the poets realm....
hi i cant follow your poems. not straightforward enough for me. but some of your words, images,
lines, sounds are beautiful.your titles are often wonderful too. but i somehow cant get enough
of your communication as i would like. i'm going to bookmark your page and try a little more.
no doubt, you are very talented and worth more of my time.
This poem is very unique... I like it a lot, nice work
Excellent. I'm never going to write again.
Good title...humorous.
I have read this one several times.... each time I see something that I did not see before....
could be the mood I am in... or maybe it is the style and mood this was written in....
well done.... I really like things that grab me and make me come back again and again.....
hehehe I like this.
awesome poem
really like the words and feelings in this piece of work.... well written.... I like the style in which it was written....
This is a seemingly peaceful poem. I really like it.
Very beautiful. I have been reading your poetry and I must say that I have enjoyed all that I have read.
I have been having trouble getting the critique page to come-up. I will read more. I will critique more too. Thanks for sharing.
nice work
Favorite line: "Words not blows when/ Love is frozen" Amazing. Keep up the great work.
Deep words for something that some people may just graze over superficially. Thanks for the read.
A beautifully crafted, deep, meaningful piece. It is very sad that it is some women's reality- such a part
of their lives that they no longer even question it. sad, but so true. You are a beautiful poet. Thanks for
sharing this piece, my hopes that the right woman reads-and gets it.
Is this about one person getting drunk and hitting another? So many images, I read it several times,
found it difficult to piece together a whole. I guess I need my messages spoon-fed to me.
Don't take it personal, I see from the critiques that others have gotten your message bang-on.
They are wiser, perhaps. For instance, what does Words not hounds say? Are dogs a metaphor for verbal violence?
Disparate voodoo sandwich of time Sorry, doesn't make a link to any event in my experience.
I guess I should just sit back and enjoy it without trying to make it all mean something, just relax.
Love is frozen! All I can say is wow! If got time please read my stuff & listen to my songs! Thank you in advance!
Nice poem. I like it. Thanks for sharing. I like the descriptiveness of the poem. BYE!
I'm finding a wealth of excellent poetry today of which yours is no exception.
beautiful tranquil language used. great emotive language to.
Sometimes words don't seem suffice, I am not even sure what I need to say here,
maybe just that you have captured so perfectly all the emotions I once felt. It hurt me to read this,
but from hurt comes healing. You write beautifully...I'm sure I will return. Thankyou
Much love
this was quite interesting! And had a very unique difference to it. I enjoyed it immensely.
intriguing, sort of an ee cummings remix, i like it!
delicious writing. Excellent poem. A different feel to it ...
The title drew me in, the poem kept me captivated!
This particular piece Delight conjured up a painting for me. A beautiful visual, I assure you.
Very six-dimensional, with lots of special effects. Very cool poem.
A very good poem I do like the words , a hot pavement make one yearn for winter ,
At winter it's gonna be a cold , slippery pavement..thanks
Now this is better than your streaming stuff, I enjoyed this, thank you very much.
Just my preference, I guess. Your imagery in this poem is inventive and fresh.
wonderful poem
One of the Greats...this poem is, for certain. I see this as a classic one day~ Very Norman Rockwell like.
This is a PUBLISH ME PIECE....without doubt. I love it, comparing City to Country life, so beautifuly worded, too.
Thank you so much for posting this one.... Seriously MADE MY DAY!! Keep it up!
WOW... what a message this one has.... I loved it... I use to live in the country and now I have to live in a big city...
and I just hate the sounds and fumes.... I really like the line about the squirrel... I think those are so cute...
have raised 3 of them... they can be such a hoot... thank you for posting this one... made me think about all the things that I miss....
Great writing here...this is top notch! Brava!!!
I love this poem. The images are so very true, and so very scarey. As I look around the city I live in,
similar feelings occupy my mind. Excellent writing! I'm going to check out other stuff you wrote.
Interesting how you use each stanza to give another perception on the city,
which is apt because cities are so multiple, have so many perspectives.
It's amazing what you can do with poetry. Your form matches the city scape.
Ah, the dark side of city life!! This is a truly insightful piece.
Anyone who lives in that type of environment would certainly understand the words in this piece.
I especially understood " shopping carts led by whiskers & wrinkles' because the homeless,
is unfortunately a common sight in any big city.
This is really excellent, wonderful...
This is certainly a very good poem. I like the way you use contrasting images,
e.g. "church bells chime/ and garden squirrels play in sunshine"--small oasis of beauty
in an otherwise menacing and inhuman urban milieu. To have the poet address, and
question the city itself is also very effective: "Tell me.../Tell him.../Tell us.../ I tell you..."
The last stanza is a perfect clincher to all that went on before. Very well-written. Congratulations!
This is quite unique, my fellow poet. I enjoyed it, taking in several reads.
The title is intriguing and the last line is so darkly brooding and...well, urban(e). Good work. I'll be back...
your work has such depth..... this piece made me really think ... and that is a good thing.... I like this
Wow, I just read quite a few of your writings and they where all very pleasurable.
You really are amazing writer. I think this one , "Early Hour Eulogy" was my favorite.
Much hail to you and your skills in themselves.
hi! i like this poem. you have such a way with words. love this one. i will read more. bye
what a graphic scene you paint with such well choosen words.... I loved this one.... such emotion
Good poem. I like it. You have a way with words. You have talent. I am going to read more. Very nice poem. Thanks! Teresa Jacobs
nice flow,. too few people on this site actually have a vocabulary...thanks for the relief. keep writing.
Great. Very good writing. ...erm, it's probably just me, but I almost thought I saw a little Doctor Who influence. lol
This is beautiful. I just loved it. Very Exquisite poetry.
Clever. I may have to try one like that.
Silence can be deafening! Excellent work, though I see from your comments an older piece. Thanks for sharing it with us!
Excellent perspective and excellent write!!
very nice!....I too find that silence is deafening! congrats on top ten! stay safe :o)
I love your style in this piece. Excellent!
I am sorry, but, I am not sure where you are going with this piece. However, I saw the fury of a
storm unleashed in the words, so I was still able to enjoy it. Thanks for posting.
This one made me cry.....
powerful, raging poem. strong imagery. you write because you cannot not write... you are a poet. eric
Happens to me all of the time....I start out with a thought in mind that I am inspired to write about,
and then all this "stuff" starts making it's way to ink....and ending up on my paper.
so, anyway- It is a very awsoem poem, however strange you think it to be, I
related to it quite well, being a flower friek and all. I think that flowers have an automatic
romance to them, and then you adding in things like "radiant good neighbor spiders, and
sleep well sister garden providers and it's a hit in my book! I do dig your work, and look forward to reading more.
Beautiful invocation . . .
thought provoking..... I like things that make me think..... wonderful job....
awe inspiring
excellent read.... loved it .... kept me on the edge of my sit so to speak.... what a picture you can create from words...
This poem is a fine one, but, it has to be said, that what I was taken by was the title -
almost a one line poem in itself. God is my sherpa - very handy when all the green pasture for
being layed down in lie down there below the snow line.
Hmmmm....Sounds so familiar! :)
some of the best poems i've ever written were on napkins... left for tips... short, and powerful poem. eric
It's kind of 'interesting', but I wouldn't call it poetry exactly. Also, I don't quite see where
the 'green paper' fits into the equation. Maybe I'm just a little bit old-fashioned!
Some artists throw paint at the wall and proclaim the result a masterpiece.
It still remains random splashings. Here I feel you've typed random fragments with no
attempt to join them into a coherent message. I am left with the same impression ...
you are trying to be an artist, but this is not poetry. It imparts no information, no impressions, just random splashing.
powerful message..... They never think that the dreams they miss May make them more whole.... I feel the same way.... if it were not for our dreams... then what are we to live for
An excellent poem with lots of points and meanings to be picked out of it.
"Some sleep soundly
In their nice cushioned beds on hardwood floors" - but who scrubbed and sanded their hardwood floor.
what a picture painted with these words..... I truly liked this piece....
What a craft you have! You have a way in your poetry that I understand deeply.
It is beautiful tragic, and all that is Poetic. Thank you for sharing your brilliant talent.
Yes! simple. tragic. hopeful. if there were any more, it would be too much,
and any less wouldn't be enough. i don't even think you need the last line, it's implied.
maybe even just " and my ring is perpetual." i like this and your others.
Incredibly beautiful
suppose you wrote this very quickly and didn't have time to proofread it...a few misspellings here and there (rhythm, collarbone)..
BUT ANYWAY
absolutely beautifully mesmerizingly wonderfully lovely!
you are great with words ..you really are....i love your work
what an awesome read.... made my mind work...
what a view of the world.... this was an amazing read..... you have captured many images with your words... well written....
I think this poem is incredible. My favorite phrase:
"but it is an earth of mute sheep,
thus, they only hear themselves."
Talk about a poem about reality; certainly is a slap in the face. Excellent write.
I agree with you on this piece!
I gotta agree with this one! Great work, I love it! This is a powerful piece!!
This poem is beautiful and romantic, allowing the reader to feel the intimacy of lovers. I felt part of a sweet moment.
Wow Matthew...excellent poem. I agree with you whole-heartedly, too: that we, the humans,
move in our daily lives like clockwork..while the earth strives to simply exist as it is...
and we slowly deplete its life. I really felt what you said...I don't know how I feel about religion or
God, but I know that I believe in the power of nature, whether I believe in it as a godly force I don't know...
but it is definitely a force to be reckoned with (and it shouldn't be reckoned with.)
That was a big run-on sentence haha. Anyway...I enjoy your experience. It has its own style, just like you. Keep up the good work!
always in a hurry eh? hehe...yet another masterpiece....you have such GOOD ideas and imagery...ohhh i am SO jealous grrrrrr heheh...i love it.
read it twice, and gained no coherent message. Good? Bad? Who knows?
How did you choose the words? Stream of consciousness? Random word generator?
What does it mean in English? Are your other poems like this? I'll check one to see.....
beauty, true beauty. so tragically well written. I admire your ability to express yourself so well.
continue writing, but don't take it too seriously, it loses it's artistic passion and becomes a chore.
Are you after just my heart, or the hearts of everyone on this site? :)
My way of telling you that you are spectacularly talented and charming.
My favorite line in this poem:"and see the rich so elegant all dismal red" Very powerful line.
"So look again at the plays and the scenes that keep changing authors" Stolen art.
False pretense. What a poem. Thanks for sharing it.
Sweet, sweet style. You have charisma, my friend. What a beautiful poem. Meadowmen. awesome!!
this is a very original piece of art here! The way you slew your words together was very
ingenious and gave the whole thing charm. Darn! Wish I would have thought of it ;-)
Wow!! THis is intelligent, powerful & definitely reality for the new millenium.
Your insight & your choice of words kept me reading all the way through. Well done!
muses wanted? great piece of writing. ORIGINAL BY FAR.
i loved this poem. such a commentary on the media. great!
Society clashing its head against the walls. Good drama here, too bad it isn't fantasy.
Yo, I'm really diggin' this piece right here. I can't believe someone would
actually be that heartless. I mean, vandalizing a cemetary is on some straight gothic type level. Keep spittin' it yo.
BRAVO...... well said.. renew the blue prints.... oh that is such a killer line.... I loved it....
I wish that we could just renew the blue prints.... might make some things better.... wonderful read
When the Christian god built paradise, he failed, for it was not enough to satisfy the
endless yearning for freedom and knowledge in the hearts of its frst dwellers.
Hitler tried to build his version of Paradise, his evil intentions were crushed by the world.
One person's concept of Paradise will never satisfy the yearnings of others.
I believe that any attempt to build Paradise will fail, it only exists in the minds of dreamers ...
unless it can dwell in our hearts. A recklessly imaginative poem,
soaring imagery and fearless questing for truth. Much enjoyed, nice work!!
what a message I get from this.... I really liked this .. well written....
Hi Mathew, I am a new member here at Post Poems and found your poem
very inspiring and beauitfully worded. You develop your theme extremely well
and tie in the craft of writing with the symbolism of the pine in very creative way.
Just as words last echoing memory, so does the evergreen.
In Japanese gardens, they symbolize eternity. Thanks for sharing.
This poem is concise (I appreciate this), and I found it interesting in its theme.
But I do think the first stanza is a bit too prosaic. I might also add that Dr.
amuel Johnson would have disagreed with your "argument" that poetry is in the moment
and not in the verse. But who is he to argue with you?
matthew-- really like the title. drew me in. the second stanza is strongest.
love the images it invokes. this is the poem. thanks for the read. peace,
i agree entirely with the first stanza describing what poetry is
I probably didn't get the meaning you wanted to convey, but as a teacher,
I despise the flagrant waste of paper I see everywhere. Don't people realize that they are killing trees?
That's what your last stanza meant to me. Wasted messages waste the trees.
You are quite talented. I enjoyed reading this.
I dug this poem...fresh and original!
i once had a conversation with a wise, young friend when i was in a time of lost. he asked me "what do you want to do? who do you want to be with while doing it? and where do you want to be?" yes, i feel that your poem answers these questions except in a different way. you don't pose a question, you give an answer, and effective tactic i might add. becareful of your use of adjectives and nouns. "Of hillside misery memories" should be miserable memories by the way, this my sound childish, but i like the idea of a bullet proof bubble. how did you come up with the idea?
strong bit of writing,impeccable really.
I'm half starvin cuz I cant get the plastic cereal bag open....you've said it for me...tks...Jim
oh my GRACIOUS talk about good poetry....cripes...you make me look like a geek!
haha...i just want to say that this poem is absolutely amazing...you have such wonderful imagery....
excellent excellent excellent...ahhh...i'm jealous
interesting read, whats it all about?
liked this poem... "our children are sponsored by ibm" and "even our sacred law makers are paid per diem" very great lines...thanks.
"one must imagine sisyphus happy!"--albert camus
I was just enjoying your poem. Mostly I just wanted to say hello.
I got a kick out of this other critque though. I think empty barrels make the most noise.
Be cool. Keep on rocking.
Wow, i really liked this poem. Out of all the ones i haave read so far, which was somewhere between 5-10 ,
you just have so many i cant read them all yet. heh. This one just reached out and grabbed me.
i dont know what it was about it, i just really liked it. nice. :)
all I can say is wow! I love this poem. I've read a few of your works but this one is by far the best. I will read more.
If the writer can touch my soul I must tell them so. you touch my soul. Keep up the writng. It's God's gift to you.
I dig your theatrics! Very imaginative. Very hip and fresh.
beautiful piece
i liked it :*)
just out checking out some of your other work.... another one that I like.... so far I think I have found some really cool and thought provoking poetry....
I am truly blessed to have found one with such meaning behind penned words.... loving your work....
nicely written... liked this piece....
I like it. Especially "he roasts in the sun/becomes hot enought to close his eyes and fly" A real inspiriation, great writing. keep it up!
absolutely beautiful. i dont know what else to say
the depth in this piece just amazes me.... I tell you ,,, you have a way with words the so few have.... another well written poem...
Very intense poem. I like it alot. Keep up the good work.
This was another great poem. I know there is a lot of deep meaning here; thats why its great.
WOW! This is powerful! A very good poem, really enjoyed it.
hahaha this poem is great! I love every second of it. Its witty, fun, and catchy
i love this poem
nice idea for a poem..reminds me of my 'indictment'
i've read quite a few of the works you have on here. very nice, man. i love the word
usage and placement; refreshing and unique. great imagery, as well.
every poem i've read of yours thus far has been very enjoyable.
the only overall suggestion that i can offer is to use punctuation.
i've found that it works like a bass line to a song. fades just out of
obvious range into the peripheral, but it steadies the piece out; gives it rhythm and flow.
welcome to the espresso house, man. i look forward to reading many more pieces by you in the future.
Ahhhh... the beautiful sound of the city slowly living and dying around
us as every moment slowly arrives just to leave us in a frantic haste...
I have read many of your works here.... I am I feel that I just keep saying the same thing
over and over.... I have to get something new to say.... I so enjoy your work... excellent writing....
words that paint scenes so vivid... I loved this piece just as I have loved the otheres....
much talent flows in the ink of the pen you hold in your hand....
You portray each verse like a polaroid snapshot with insightful scratchings at the bottom
of each carefully captured moment in time...
only your writing shows much more than a photo could ever capture... great write.
This one really gives me the sense that we experience even the truest freedom
from the inside of a carefully capped and vented glass jar on His windowsill...
and as we explore our freedom He is always observing us...
koncking at the glass occasionally to remind us the He is still there...
even though we can't see Him through the bent unfocused light shining into our world.
oh your are good.... I loved this one.... with naughty lies rapine toiling downhill...... awesome
very dif writing you have on this one.
