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A KILLING KIND OF LIVING
All by myself
With the declining moon
Of a dark night which marks
Some darkness engulfing me
From midnight onwards...
I am so different
From almost everybody around me
Everybody living with me
And this makes me lonelier
And reach out for the woman
Who loves me with all her heart
Truly and unconditionally
I am an enigma to myself
Quite often a stranger
To the one who was conceived
And reared up by my parents.
I need to be loved
And in the desperate hours of darkness
Alone with a half-lit sky
It gets all the more painful
To while the moments away
Talking to myself
Or to my Creator and His angels
Whose presence my heart and soul
Feel more than often
Yet the affliction called loneliness
Is killing me slowly and surely
I am not afraid of dying
But to die of utter weariness
Each night of all these years
Is excruciating punishment
And an unending agony
That is eating me up quietly
As time keeps rolling by...
Without my beloved, rare woman
And my best human friend
How trying and nerve-wracking
Is this constant persecution
Of my starved for love being
This is worse than drugs
And intoxication of wines
This tragedy of my present time
Cannot be described in words
It is worse than slashing my wrists
Or swallowing hemlock
To live on all alone
The way I am doing now...
O how can I explain it?
Even if I want to
How can I write the condemnation
That is killing me artfully
By making me live on and on....
(Written and posted by Muhammad Naveed Ahmed/Emmenay on December 26-27, 2010)
