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Nobody understands
Nobody knows what iv been through,
some think or say they do, but its all lies.
Nobody will truely understand, they wherent there.
They wherent in my shoes. Some try to even dein,
and say I lie. But they wherent there, they didnt see,
they didnt hear, they dont know a thing. I wish they,
would read my mind, and see what iv been through.
So hard to talk about it, when they all pretend it hasnt
happened at all.
Parents who didnt pay attention to me or my brother,
we grew up in a home with other people coming and going,
never a stable place to grow. Strangers became family,
family became strangers, it never felt right. I never felt safe,
when the monster who made me, yelled and screamed,
beat and abused, and left me alone to cry at night. Praying
that God would send some help my way. Waiting for it,
and it never came. I was forced to keep walking on my own,
nobody to hold me, nobody to stand by my side, nobody to
protect me from this life. I woke every morning living in fear,
having to walk carefully and not make a sound. Cause anything i did
could cause a fight, and if that spark came, you would ignight.
Only safe places i had, where my grandmas arms, or under my blanket
at night holding my teddy tight. The darkness scaring me, cause i didnt know
if you would hear me, i layed there crying softly, begging for help,
asking why God hated me, and why nobody could bother to save me???
years went on, and nobody wanted to see, what was done to me,
or my baby brother, who i had to raise all on my own, cause mom and dad,
didnt care. They where never there. Ghosts that haunted me, thanks to all
the things you said and did, still havent gone away, and the hate and anger,
still remains! You will never admit to what you did, never see the pain you caused,
never understand what it has done to me, or see the scars that still stay beneith the skin.
I promised myself since 8 years old, i would never become what you are,
that i would keep moving on, and become a differant person. I wouldnt be like you,
i wouldnt hurt others, i wouldnt abuse a child, i wouldnt ignore or pretend,
that they didnt exist, i wouldnt yell and scream and make them feel they wherent
worth a thing. I wouldnt become the monster that still to this day, scares the living hell out of me. I seem brave to the people who know me, but im just a scared little girl. A little girl,
who cant forget, all the things that where done. Nobody understands.
