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The REAL Santa Clause
Santa is crazy for coming at night
And for giving up presents without a fight
He just takes his cookies and moves along
Singing, "Ho ho ho," as if nothing is wrong
But we all know what Santa's hiding
That he's not exactly law abiding
His "acts of kindness" are court order
Because when he crossed the border
He stowed more than just your normal gifts
He had some people who had needed a lift
They were "friends" Santa had said
But they were wanted, alive or dead
Then Santa had to see a judge
And said things worse than a mere "Oh fudge"
Sentenced to live way up in the North Pole
Because he had cheated, he'd lied, and he'd stole
He is allowed out for just one night per year
That's why it's only good things that we have to hear
