Unshared Memories

Why are you still there?

I've not spoken or recalled the memory in years. 
wherefore should I miss your brutish mockery.

 or the shoulder for tears you offered to me.

For months and years I remembered you in dissaproval.

your cocky smile when you saw yourself above all.

The stabs you would take to agitate me for a laugh .

The way you made me feel like trash.

I hated you.

So why now do I remember the warmth.

the days I questioned your habits to harm.

I had spoken out to friends my dislike of you.

And what I saw that followed could not have been true.

You hid and you wept swiftly and silently.

I could not fathom what I saw so suddenly.

I took to you with my heart questioningly.

Was this yet another quest to fool me? 
But still I went to you and wiped away your worries.

and somehow this moment became a heartful and loving story.

with me assuring you of the care I did not know existed.

it somehow all seemed so twisted.

Were you unaware of the pain you caused me?

Was it all fun and games not meant to cause grief?

It was all so occasional when these questions stirred.

especially the day when rough housing left me perturbed.

soft did your mannerism change.

at a loss was i to your test of strength.

but what lost me was after the match.

little did I know was I the prize you catched.

how your bearish hands humanely held me.

as if I were a timid hare and you a kind beast.

with such wonder and softness in your eyes you looked.

and me squirming bashfuly to get away but I was hooked.

physically to weak to escape .

but my heart also yearning for the affection finally dispayed.

conflicted and stressed does he leave me .

steel myself for the hurt or take in the care he occasionally gives for free?

I hate him ...

most the time ...

Inconsistently 

 

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