I feel empty. No longer shining.
Internally, I've been beaten down.
By members in which you respect the most.
My confidence underlying.
Somehow it seems, it doesn't matter to them,
what kind of person I am.
I feel a hole inside my heart,
and it's getting harder to fill.
I do not add up to their expectations,
to what a perfect person should be.
Second to none, self esteem less rising.
No one to talk to, no where to run.
Biass you remain, I am perfect to you,
but somehow it doesn't add up.
To live a life, you take on others.
Others who don't like me at all.
I know it isn't my fault.
But my self esteem but shatters.
Each day a new topic arises,
as slowly my heart is battered.
I feel like I should give up,
but I see the good in you.
I feel like I can be myself,
whenever I'm with you.
In the back of my mind,
the doubt but reigns,
As I play a part upon a stage,
where critics shun, and do not hear my voice.
I want to get out now...I have that choice.
But I love you. Love conqures all?
I ask myself. The silence falls.
I can't be perfect,
I can only be me.
They'll never accept it,
you and me.
Manuiplative, a slut, and a bitch,
is the opinion your loved ones have to give.
I try to speak, but it comes out wrong.
I don't know long, I can keep holding on.
Slipping away, as my self esteem dies.
I feel the tears behind my eyes.
Why should I cry? It isn't me.
but it doesn't matter, and thats the thing.
It kills me to think that I'm a horrible person,
when all I've done, was kept you out of the prison,
where you trapped, you said that yourself.
It takes a toll upon my health.
Smiling, I try to ignore it.
But it all remains the same.
Love is always a journey,
but it shouldn't be this way.
I don't know how much more of this I can take.
Not made of stone my heart can break.
You blow it off, the dust settles on me.
I am a person. With feelings and dreams.
With dreams I had plans for you to be in,
but I can no longer compete with your family and friends.
My heart is dying, beaten down...
The nightmare never ends.