Nick & JD Play Chess

Screenplay Scenery



Johnny and Nicholas sit at a chess board in the shade of the porch. Nicholas puffs on a cigarillo. He sharpens a Bowie knife while he waits for Johnny to make his move.


(1 part Jack Sparrow, 2 parts

Hunter Thompson)

Say where are we anyway?

Isn't Arizona supposed to

be all dry and uh desert-y?

This looks rather like a

tropical island.


(thick Lithuanian accent)

We are in Dakini's Pure Land.

It is however she wishes it

to be.

Dakini strolls into view. She is bare-breasted, a prayer shawl draped over her shoulders. Johnny is completely distracted by her beauty.


It is your move Johnny.


Oh uh yes.

Without looking down at the board Johnny moves his bishop. Nicholas glances down, takes the bishop with his white knight, throws it off to the side.


Isn't she hot standing out

there in the sun like that?


Dakini does not get hot.


Does she never wear a shirt?

Johnny moves his rook. Nicholas, nonchalant, takes the rook with his pawn, throws it off to the side.


Never. Dakini is perfection.

She does not need to cover up.


What do you mean by that?


Some people are very ugly.

They have very ugly bodies

and they must cover up or

else everyone's eyes will

burn from having to look at

them. Not Dakini. She is

magnificent. Any man is healed

just by looking at her. She

wears a sarong out of kindness

to you. She knows that you would

be driven to madness with desire

at the sight of her luscious

round bottom and perfectly smooth

bronzed legs. Dakini has a

gorgeous set of gams eh Johnny?

Johnny looks at Nicholas, pushes his glasses up with one hand, absentmindedly moves a pawn with the other.


Yes yes I see your point.

What about you? Aren't you

driven to madness with desire

just by looking at her?


I am. But I know that later

tonight while you are sitting

on the cushion meditating, I

will be bathing her and rubbing

jasmine scented oil on her

succulent body. And then we will

be making sweet love and riding

the cosmic wave of orgasm


Johnny raises an eyebrow, looks at him with annoyance, then back to Dakini in the garden. Nicholas knocks the pawn off the board with his king, resumes sharpening his knife.


And besides soon you will be



No way man. I wanna stay here



You think that you are the

first Johnny, but you are not.

Many have come. She heals them

then she sends them away. She

cries for each of them when

they leave. Dakini loves

everyone. She cannot help it.


But you're still here. Why

didn't she send you away?


Because I am her perfect fit,

I am made for her. She is my

reason for being. I will be

holding her when she takes her

very last breath. And then I

will die too. We will enter the

Kingdom of Heaven together.

And if she chooses to come back

I will come back with her.

Johnny looks at Nicholas who meets his eye squarely. He removes the cigarillo from his mouth.



Johnny looks down at the chess board. Nicholas' pieces stand guard in a semi-circle around his queen. Only one piddly pawn remains on Johnny's side. Johnny looks back out at Dakini. She strokes a hummingbird that has landed in her hand, looks over and waves at them.



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