Journal Entry 02022020

The Nitty-Gritty


I caught it this morning trying to sabotage my day, in the interstitial slit between asleep and awake. “Imagine the worst case”, it said - whose voice is it? my voice? ego's voice? the voice of some incubus inserting pernicious thoughts into my head because it feeds off of fear & misery? Thus the litany began, as if a cerebral PLAY button had been pushed, the lexicon of disastrous things that can go wrong in my already attenuate existence, looping over and over again, focusing on whatever particular problem is looming in the forefront of my mind. The docketing process is not new to me, but catching the launch mechanism in action is. I feel I've been granted flash espy into the workings of my own subconscious, a golden opportunity to correct my faulty programming regardless from whence, where or by whom it was implanted. Now as I am falling asleep I recite the mantra “Imagine the best case."


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