Lost & Found

I feel like a butterfly who has lost his wings, I feel like a singer without a voice.
I feel like a note without a key. I feel like an abandoned wolf lost and free.
I feel like a cat who lost its mouse, I feel like a foundation that lost its house.
I feel like a boomerang that won't be back, all because you gave me no slack.
I feel like I can't tell the truth, I feel like the one who helped Mr. Booth,
I feel insecure that you're reading this, I feel the meaning might be missed.
For though these feelings are always there, I know that you will always care.
I know these feelings will come and go, just like I know that you'll always show.
I know the source, I know the place, I know that look you get on your face.
You cry for me when I feel blue, and you hold me closer, next to you.
You were always there when I needed you, I took my steps and you followed too.
I know I can upon you rely, for when I'm lowest and forced to cry.
I blame myself for walking away, when really I should have just stayed.
I cannot explain just how bad I feel, about the time I drank behind the wheel.
I cannot begin to understand why, you always hold me when I cry.
I walked away from you so many times, yet you're always there for my crimes.
They say you died yet I keep seeing you, so if your dead, then I must be too.
And if I am dead then it must be too late, to get my ticket to go through the gate.
But I cannot be where you are, for I was just driving my car.
A flash of light, then the color red, I must now surely be dead.
If I am dead then what did I do? For you accepted me, but I did not accept you.
I have no reason for being here now, unless you are showing me how
how I should have lived my life, how I should have honored my wife.
How I should have respected red. For that is the reason I am now dead.
How I should have come to you, when I was sad, lonely and blue.
How I should have not cut my arm, for you died so I would not see harm.
My friend told me all about you, but I did not listen, I wanted a clue.
"A sign that he is real indeed, some sign he is there is all I need."
Those were the words I kept telling my friend, I wish I had listened in the end.
For I see now you were there, you always stood by me, you always care.
But it is too late, oh please let me stay, I promise I will change my evil way.
Forgive me and allow me a chance, to never ask that girl to dance.
Let me live and you will see, the kind of man you want me to be.
Do not shake your head, do not send me there, please show me you still care.
I can change, I know I can. I just need another chance.
"You had your chance, you blew it instead. Depart from me, for you are dead."
Then I awoke, it was only a dream. Must have been the french fried ice cream.
I got in my car and started it up, with a beer beside me in my pickup.
I let off the clutch and started to go, to that girls house, my favorite ho.
I picked up my beer, and took a drink, the light turned red and I stopped to think.
How many signs are we given each day, when we keep asking and we say:
"I will believe when I see a sign!" that is your life, I won't waste mine.
I got my sign, on the road that time. That semi-truck that almost t-boned mine.
I threw down my beer, got out of my car, hit my knees in front of the bar.
I could not believe the life I did live, I did not want my fun to give.
But that life I learned was not fun, it was one step away from a loaded gun.
I cried in the night, in the pouring rain. "Help me not start that life again."
I could not believe the fool I have been, and there you were, once again.
Standing before me, you gave me a hand. "Welcome home, now you can stand."
I tried to stand, but I could not, it felt like my legs had started to rot.
I tried again and as I did, out from the bar walked the girl with a kid.
She was not my wife, only my toy, but in her arms was a little boy.
She just stood, to stop and stare, then handed me the child, said "I don't care"
"Take this thing, I don't want him!" she walked away and I never saw her again.
I stood there in the rain for a moment and smiled, in my arms I held my child.
I looked up to see him standing there again, I turned to go home to raise my kin.
I never looked back not till today. When to my own child, my story I could say.
He wanted a sign that you were there, so I told him this story, because I care.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This poem came to me just shortly after waking up. I sat down to write something on my facebook wall and this simply came out.

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