Author Information
Skin Symphonies
As I walk down the road of past times
I see a little child looking at me
When I look in her eyes
I see a color I don't recognize
I see hope and dreams
I see passion, I see love
Now when I look in the mirror
It's hard to recognize myself
I watch the child walk to the mailbox
She quietly opens it and walks to our house
This child doesn't go outside
She doesn't converse with the neighborhood kids
All she does is stay inside
She's forced to clean
And eventually forced to hide
In the basement she finds relief
She finds comfort
And affection in the dusty floors and the cobwebs
When she goes back upstairs
She gets scolded
And she gets slapped across the face
Going about with the daily routine she puts up with it
And stifles her tears
Her parents beat her
And she thinks it's her fault
She remains quiet at school
Eventually becomes the outcast
Pressured by others and thinking they're her friends
When she's alone in her room
She finally lets out a cry
She bites her pillow and her fists
The pillow case becomes damp
Her tears provide no comfort
I try to reach out and put a hand on her shoulder
But instead of feeling accepted
She remains miserable.
That girl learned to bottle things up
She put up with everything else
No matter how fucked up things got
She released her pain
Released her anger
In a way that isn't accepted
It began one day when she found a razor
Slicing across her skin she thought she felt relief.
I look back and I regret these things
But we can't change the past
No, we can't change anything
We just follow our design
That we created
Yes, it's hard to change
And most of us who felt pain
Usually remain in pain
But we dominate the weak
The people who never experienced grief
And sadly but surely we play skin symphonies.
So when I look in the mirror
I see the eyes that clouded over
Back when something was taken from me
I had put up with everything
I had learned to deal
But then I was robbed
and I didn't feel real
I felt like I was out in a distance
Like my mind was grazing in meadows of lies
No one around me knew what was happening
They couldn't detect the clouds in my eyes
Teachers looked at me and saw a girl who was just a girl
Everyone looked at me and all they saw was a girl
They couldn't see the pain and they couldn't see the anger
I was alone
I was cold
And now I hate to reminisce
But I like to every now and then
To remind that girl that she still exists.
