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I turned thirty four this year

and well i thought things would have been differenet.

I thought things would have been better.

The year started with my brother leaving his wife and kids for a hooker.

And my father having to spend time acrross the country to help my other brother cope with his own issues.

My bithrday consisted of me eating chicken wings and drinking beer alone in my apartment.

This has been by far the worst birthday that i have had.

And that's saying alot.

During  college the group of friends that i used to hang around with

would celebrate everyones birthday by going out and eating and drinking.

But every year my birthday came around and no one was there.

Let go over my 21st birthday where no one showed up to my birthday party.

I had to by my own first beer as well as my girlfriend at the time food.

Then there was 23-25 where I  bought my own cake and dinner because my friends and girlfriend couldnt afford it.

I also bought there meals.

Then there was the year that i flew to denver to hang out with a girl on my borthday weekend.

This one got me hotel room to stay in.

However that birthday night she had to go back home to be with her boyfriend.

so not only was i hundreds of miles away from home i was alone in a hotel in a city where i knew no one else.

Honsestly i do not even mention my birthdays anymore because the have all been terrible.

I would be happier for no one to ever remember them again.