PostPoems Be Artistic. Be Creative. Be Inspired!

I have spent my whole life trying to be valid in one way or another. Growing up it is instilled in you that you have be the best at something: the strongest, smartest, prettiest, quickest, funniest, whatever. And maybe you were, maybe you were one of those lucky ones that you could look over your small pond and say “BAM! This is me! And I’m the best whatever.” But maybe you weren’t, maybe you couldn’t or didn’t have the discipline or wisdom to see your path, but you had to try right? So you did, and you failed.

After a while it became apparent it didn’t matter, that you would never be faster than him or prettier than her, and all around you parents, teachers, and mentors preached you were special, or even worse no one did.
So what did you do? What could you do? This wasn’t a Disney movie we weren’t all going to break out in song and sing about your problems, no charming prince or daring lass was coming to save you. It was just you and your mediocrity.
I know what you did. You just coasted, didn’t make waves, let people surf in and out of your life with barely a real hello. Now here you are, high school is over, college didn’t work out for you, and you think of those starry eyed dreams you had as a teenager and a part of you feels foolish for ever believing that they could be reality.
Now what? You’re closer to thirty then twenty, all your friends are getting married and having babies and you’re still eating way too much take out alone. You go to a job that maybe you don’t hate, but you certainly don’t love, and you know if you stay there long enough you will end up hating it. You’ll wake up on Monday cursing your existence, things like drugs and alcohol will go from being recreational to the crutch that keeps you crawling. I ask you are you really alive?
I’m not going to end this with some bullshit inspirational quote, not going to tell you to up-end your entire life in hope that everything will get better. I could advise you not to care, that apathy may be the strongest drug but I don’t want that for you. I could tell you to find someone to love and latch on to them with all you can, but we both know people don’t always find love. Really what I’m trying to tell you is that if you want happiness then build it. It’s work, heart wrenching painful work, no one is going to come by and give it to you, it doesn’t just fall into your lap. Happiness is built from the ground up and as long as you hold onto your foundation of apathy and melancholy you’ll be unhappy.