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Vulnerability
I don’t want to be attached to you
It’s an admittance of vulnerability
And for me all vulnerability has ever been
Was a painful failure.
Everyone’s got their mommy and daddy issues
But do we really have to talk about it?
If we do, let me elaborate on
Vulnerability is painful.
Because that’s what they taught me,
What they showed me when I showed them
A part of me that didn’t quite fit,
Wasn’t quite right.
And now when my vulnerability bubbles up
Or suddenly gushes out I run.
I just run. As far as I can away from
You, but more importantly myself.
I never was good at “dealing with it”
My favorite was of dealing is
Putting off “dealing with it” at all.
I’m not saying it’s effective or productive
But it does keep you alive,
At least in a way,
But I want you to know this thing
That I'm paralyzed, terrified by
Is the thing that I so desperately crave.
I want you to play my
Cat and mouse game,
You’re going to have to chase me
To prove I’m worthy
Of your investment of time and energy,
That you’ve really taken an interest,
That this vulnerability isn’t painful.
