And the cold crawls its way
Up the small of my back
A raspy breath of bitter
And the fear loses itself in me.
Crawling into beds that were never yours
Hiding from the friends that never showed
Saving yourself for those who will not wait
As you will wait forever.
Saving yourself from things that refuse
To haunt you
And will try
To keep you here as you fly away
And refuse to stay grounded.
And the waves of cold wash over your body
And, “It was me.”
Words never really did account for much anyways.
But lies always have
And they were the one thing that you did to save yourself
From me
A blatant refusal
To be dishonest
Did I ever lie about it?
No.
Did it change over time?
Yes.
And it changed
And she brought it back
And I let it lie
Like the sleeping dogs
And the skeletons in my closet
That you never knew
And why do I always apologize?
You will never
Oh, no.
You will never know.
You’re so fucking sober it’s hilarious
To watch you bumble around
Like you’ve got two left feet
That refuse to work for you
In the right ways
Every step forwards just leads you back
To the day you started this
Cruel and spinning habit
It twisted who you were
And now you can’t stop
A drink to sleep
Turned to a drink to wake
And a drink before I drink.
And the leather straps
And your black cowboy chaps
Keep me in check
And remind me that you always were you
Perfectly unique
And constantly hiding
Your smile