Mother

Mother....
Words in my heart
left unsaid
tried to please you
but didnt know how
you werent able
to show the love
that must have been
in your heart
wasnt it?
You always found fault
and never joy
i understand now
you lived with the fear
that i would grow up
being bad
but you never gave us
a chance
to be mother & daughter
we lost out on so much
your men came first
and only a little while
before you died
did you tell me
you were wrong
and sorry for that
I thought finally
we would become close
too little
too late
youve been gone
20 years now
and I still dont know how
to come to terms
with the pain
of needing you then
and not having you
and still needing you now
and not having you

jh/04-11

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