I welcomed National Suicide Prevention Week
with a pill bottle and a quick hello.
Daring to dream I tapped a tiny tablet toward my palm,
Swished a swig of water
And wandered to my bed.
I rest my eyes with hoping
dreams would carry me away, but
Twenty minutes later I tap and tap again.
One.. two.. two more into my palm
All their little friends wishing they were gone.
Today I was told suicide does not end the chance of life getting worse;
Suicide eliminates the possibility of it getting any better.
An online acquiantance informed me
I matter more than I think I do,
I'm doing better than I think I am,
and I'm stronger than anyone, including I, could ever think.
I don't think she knows me very well
and I think she only spoke because I spoke first.
Ati- Ati- Ativan, calm my nerves.
Just another dose is everything I deserve.