you are both the reason for my tears
and the hand that wipes them away
you are the reason for the circles under my eyes
and the dozen cups of coffee
you are the reason that I hate myself
and the oversized sweater I feel so pretty in
you are the hiccups in my heart
and the crater in my chest
the words I have trouble with
and the worries I forget
you are both the reason for my uncertainty
and the hope that I have clung to
you are the reason I am on this bus
and the miles I'll walk when you tell me to leave
you are the reason I can't stand myself
and the gentle reassurance that love exists
you are the 8 oz shots of liquor
and the texts I later send
the fresh cuts on my right wrist
and the healed ones on my left
you are both the reason for my tears
and the hands that wipes them away