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...Curiosity killed the cat, but silence murdered the mime,

My atrocious ally, join my side for one more time tonight for this roller coaster ride of questions and be my partner once again in this corrupted crime...



How can you tell when you have run out of invisible ink?

Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii if a car attempting to leave the islands for another state would only sink?

Why is the medicine for back pain always located on the bottom shelf?

If a man with no upper appendages buys a gun, is he finally considered armed for himself?



At the diabolic debate I cleared my throat and brought up the hot topic, "why doesn't glue stick to the inside of its container?"

Heaven applauded my intelligent comment, but Satan himself had the audacity to interrupt my glory and sinfully shout, "You imbecile! It's just an adhesive, now either sell me your soul or stop being such a complainer."

Zeus was not going to listen to such a rude remark and proceeded to throw a lighting rod, but then Jesus himself came off his cross and cried, "If the infamous Nowhere Man decided to travel somewhere, where would he go, and if he went somewhere, would that somewhere become Nowhere, or would he become the Somewhere Man?"

Satan then hurled his pitchfork straight into the Son of God's chest and unleashed his battle cry, "Stop this debate at once, all of your questions can't be answered and are all a part of the Devil's dark and demonic plan."



...I've seen an elderly man get arrested for crossing the street when he had a walk signal, but paupers are still allowed to go door-to-door, selling a "No Soliciting" sign,

My awful ally is no longer my emancipated enemy, and now together we will sound Satan's suicidal chime...



What was the best thing before sliced bread?

If you choked a Smurf, what color would it turn...possibly orange or red?

Does a hungry crow have a ravenous appetite?

If fire fighters fight fire, then who do freedom fighters fight?



At the Last Supper, I proclaimed the mystery of faith and followed with my candid question, "Why is something that's transported in a car called a shipment but something that's transported on a ship called cargo?"

Jesus stared at me in shame and politely asked me to leave as his bodyguards shipped me off to the frigid fields of Fargo.

I pleaded for forgiveness at confession and couldn't help but asking the priest, "If corn oil comes from corn, and olive oil comes from olives, what does baby oil come from?"

He chuckled to himself and whispered as he knelt down on the pew, "I may be a pedophile, but I don't have an answer for you here," as he shielded his eyes and pointed towards the sun.



...I've always wondered how they get the animals to always cross exactly at each appropriate crossing sign,

My abominable ally will proudly shout, "You have the right to remain silent" when she arrests the pliant, perplexed pantomime...



Why do they bother to report power outages on TV?

When a nudist parks and exits his car, where oh where does he place his precious key?

How do you throw out a trash can covered with grime?

Do you need to use a silencer when shooting a mime?



...Curiosity corrupted the cat, but a still tongue poisoned the pantomime,

My atrocious ally joins my side to kill each forbidden and unanswerable question for a final time...