by Jeph Johnson
Last night a very pretty gal
Told me she thought
I was a pretty friendly guy
And that she liked
Hanging out with me.
I suppose because
I'm an extrovert
I'm pretty good
At making friends.
Sadly I'm not so great
At keeping them.
I suppose because
I bought her a drink
That helped too.
I don't drink.
So today and tonight
Alone and friendless,
I have quite a difficult time
Finding the energy
To leave my bed,
To even go out to find
New company.
Forget companionship.
That being said,
It must be excruciatingly
More difficult for
Awkward introverts
To go out and do that.
Thankfully introverts
Recharge with solitude.
I don't.
Instead
I wither
Away.
Alas,
This is the bleak midwinter;
The time I hate being alone
And the time
Some of those who haven't
Unfriended me
Turn their notifications to snooze..
Instead I trick them by turning
This status update into a poem.