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Still your Perfection
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Dark Why? Please tell me why?
How did this happen? Why?
Was it my lipstick?
Was it my clothes?
Did I deserve it?...they called me a whore
Mommy, where are you?
I walked thru the street, the stars shinning bright
I hummed a little tune, my apartment was in sight
No..go back-- I don’t want to remember
Back to a safe place where I hurt no more
Please...
Rock-a-bye-Baby in the tree tops...
Lullabies, a child, safe in her arms
You never told me Mom
Why Mom?
Is this my life?
Holding Daddy’s hand as we walk along the beach
Sun sparkling on the water..what a wonderful time
The night again..it is here
They hurt me..bad
I can still feel their hands as they held me down
My face contorted and swollen ...they beat me to the ground
Fist I remember...pounding into my flesh
Cracking of my bones..biting of my breast
A,B,C,D,E,F,G...... My 1st day at school
Pig tails and my barbie back pack....I love you Mommy--see you a three
Learning to spell, a how I like music and PE
Simple pleasures of a child..I’ll keep it here with me
My high heels are scuffed...they drug me into the alley
My buttons are gone...where are my clothes?
They took my innocence...am I now a slut?
The hot water can’t seem to remove them...I still feel each one
Soap, more soap...scrub hard, wash them away
They took turns penetrating...I feel each hard lusting one
They moved roughly inside me-- each filled me with cum
Here kitty kitty....My kitty is named snowball
He is my best friend...so soft and always following me
I dress him in baby doll clothes and push him in a stroller
My childhood friend, can you help me now?
Why? It’s back again...Why?
I am used up..soiled goods
Help..make it stop
The shame, the embarrasment
It was my fault
Tears, oh the tears they just won’t stop
Please let me escape this...let me wake up
NO! My screams were not heard..I begged, I pleaded
They still took their turn
I know the answer..I know what I must do
In the cabinet, in the closet...a solution to my wounds
I’ll not let you down by the stupidness in me
I’ll be your perfect little daughter, still innocent and sweet
No more pain
No more shame
My finger pulls the trigger and I blow out my brains.
