Still your Perfection

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Why? Please tell me why?

How did this happen? Why?

Was it my lipstick?

Was it my clothes?

Did I deserve it?...they called me a whore

Mommy, where are you?

I walked thru the street, the stars shinning bright

I hummed a little tune, my apartment was in sight

No..go back-- I don’t want to remember

Back to a safe place where I hurt no more

Please...

Rock-a-bye-Baby in the tree tops...

Lullabies, a child, safe in her arms

You never told me Mom

Why Mom?

Is this my life?

Holding Daddy’s hand as we walk along the beach

Sun sparkling on the water..what a wonderful time

The night again..it is here

They hurt me..bad

I can still feel their hands as they held me down

My face contorted and swollen ...they beat me to the ground

Fist I remember...pounding into my flesh

Cracking of my bones..biting of my breast

A,B,C,D,E,F,G...... My 1st day at school

Pig tails and my barbie back pack....I love you Mommy--see you a three

Learning to spell, a how I like music and PE

Simple pleasures of a child..I’ll keep it here with me

My high heels are scuffed...they drug me into the alley

My buttons are gone...where are my clothes?

They took my innocence...am I now a slut?

The hot water can’t seem to remove them...I still feel each one

Soap, more soap...scrub hard, wash them away

They took turns penetrating...I feel each hard lusting one

They moved roughly inside me-- each filled me with cum

Here kitty kitty....My kitty is named snowball

He is my best friend...so soft and always following me

I dress him in baby doll clothes and push him in a stroller

My childhood friend, can you help me now?

Why? It’s back again...Why?

I am used up..soiled goods

Help..make it stop

The shame, the embarrasment

It was my fault

Tears, oh the tears they just won’t stop

Please let me escape this...let me wake up

NO! My screams were not heard..I begged, I pleaded

They still took their turn

I know the answer..I know what I must do

In the cabinet, in the closet...a solution to my wounds

I’ll not let you down by the stupidness in me

I’ll be your perfect little daughter, still innocent and sweet

No more pain

No more shame

My finger pulls the trigger and I blow out my brains.

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