Stress

It feels like sometimes I'm living too close to the edge and I'm about to fall off and I snap out of it and keeping going at a constant pace because if I stand still I'll be hit by the comments, the undying self-doubt, all accompanied by the ever-so-quaint misery. I bleed my stress, it comes out through the pain of standing up to the problems and being crushed by the mass, over-powered and useless this vessel of opportunity stands no chance. Gripping my head sharply between these claws of anger, I begin to slowly crush my head into an oblivion. It feels like an earwig just going to work on my brain, just devoured all of my knowledge, common sense, and instinct. I am now gripped with an uncontrollable rage, one I've never dealt with so I locked it into a room, and walk out of what appears to be a casualty of war. My ears start feeling like they're bleeding and I can't get it all out, it's just there feeding my insecurities and draining me of my vital fluids. I want to smash my head through something and hopefully take me out for a year or two when things have changed for the better. I just need to lose myself in all of this because I can't possibly stand up to anything with my pressures being pushed against my body, I'm screaming for help but my lungs have already collapsed, I'm trying to run away but my knees have buckled, and I'm trying to clear my senses but my brain is bleeding. I am not a fool! Don't try and MAKE ME ONE. Don't beat this dead horse, or I'll go through hell just to make sure I have my vengeance. I'm smarter then I lead on, more confident when it comes to things that require determination, more closer to losing everything... and when I have nothing to lose, it's obvious that I can and will do anything I really want. I can smile, when I don't care. I can laugh more of a laugh when I don't care. I am to follow no one else's restrictions when I don't care. I am what I make myself, but that doesn't mean I get what I deserve.

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