Temptation of Lies

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Shut up. Just shut up and listen. I am annoyed, can you hear the sound of my confidence shattering...be quiet and listen closer, I have nothing to be happy about. All of it is gone. Leave me alone, I want to be alone and isolated from everyone because I am not loved, just leave me alone. I want everything to just be one way, one true feeling of happyness, no more rejection no more thinking of how I fail all the time. Just let me lose all reality, slip into fantasy where everything is born once again. Just let me release tension, I want to let loose and take a hold of something and never let go. I want to cut the anger from my body, I want to stab the depression, I want to shoot the anguish. Envious and sitting on this rock contiplating the next choice of action...do I just pretend to be happy for the sake of others again? Or do I smash the face of the one who plagues me, myself...do I punch him until hes bleeding, and can't see straight? I don't know. He is a real asshole, I'll tell you that, people like him because hes nice and understanding, but really, he just does that because he thinks its right, but he contradicts himself everytime he gets up in the morning, and can't find a reason to get out of bed, just to lie down and sleep until life passes him by. I hate everything, cynical and alone, the path of a loner, I am finding it lonely, but I don't deserve friends, or lovers, I realize that now because I dwell into my own self-pity far too much. I don't care about myself, I could care less if I stopped breathing right this second, but I still have a few things to do before I go...and until its done, I am afraid I'll have to keep living this pathetic excuse for a life.

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