PostPoems Be Artistic. Be Creative. Be Inspired!

You know history seems like it keeps coming back here doesn't it? A lot has happened since I met her in 1997.10 years is a long time to still keep in touch with someone I dated. When we first met we seems like such a good match. On the outside maybe.At the time I think I was way too nice and she just had to much game and manipulation in her. Also working at the same nursing home with all of that gossip didn't help. We we first met I worked night shift so that would've worked a little better because we wasn't on the same shift. When she came over my house for our first little date it was nice. She definately brought her daughter so nothing would pop off but if she knew the kind of guy I was I wasn't expecting all of the the first time someone comes over. I mean if it happens it happens. So we had a great time, had dinner, let your daughter play with my instruments and it was good time. The red flag should've have went up when you broadcasted every damn thing we did that night to out fellow employees. Looking back on that man that was so corny.So we dating and saw each some more and I think I got a lil too caught up in your looks because I Started diggin in my pocket a little more than normal. Your ass saw I was doing good for myself and put me to the test huh? Your fine ass worked those dollars lol. It probably opened the door to me giving woman money because I liked them and acceptance. It seems like you just kept coming back for more and more to see how far you could go. I'm going to show Tina this journal one day to show her how ghetto and manipulative that was. Just to keep it real if ever do be together. From all that dram in 98 we went through with dating on the job, hater girlfriends trying to get back at you by hooking up with me ( Yeah I fell right into that trap) but it was after we went our separate ways. Why in the hell did even come on day shift into all that drama? Lord I think that's what really kept us going talking and still dealing with each other. Plus it probably was a challenge when I started to talk to Terrell ( Lord that's a whole other story). I remember times in the break room sitting with both of yall in my face having dated both of yall seeing you both going back and forth in competition. That was such a fun, weird and awkward position to be in. It seems like most of our friendship blossomed still being fellow employees 1997 thru 2001. In the summer of 99 we hooked up a lot going to those Delaware slots we always went to. That wasn't really my thing but it was nice hanging with you. When I won big you had your fingers all up in my cup and once again I was paying for your ass. God I don't know why that turned me on so much. Maybe because I was always kind of tight with money. So we had a couple of nice times that summer. The fall of 99 is when you became pregnant with your son and strangely that's when it seem like you really drew closer to me. I guess yours son's father wasn't emotionally there for you so you attached to me. Of course once again we were caught up in the friend zone but it was nice. I think you honored the fact that I still went out with you while you were pregnant. So that's when we was on our lil 1.00 movie kick at reistertown 5 star. We we're really tight buddies and rolldawgs that that fall.



As time went on around 2000 we drifted a lil, you had your son, and we still worked together at the nursing home. By this time I'm in another headache on the job relationship with the legendary Karla. She was you on steroids lol. Way more manipulative, demanding, and aggressive. You definately was lighter spirited. So once again you go into competition mode with another woman that you know I'm dating. I'm dumb for even getting caught up in another thing like this at work. Lord how did I get through that. You also saw me go through being with my new girl Stacy that summer. You was shocked when I told you that she was living with me. Really she spent the night and never took her ass home lol. Poor girl because she was such a loving, affectionate girlfriend. She had a lot of the qualities of Tiffany minus the stability in finances. It's sad those were the ones I always pushed away. Very sad. Stacy just came at a time were Karla still had a hold on me and eventually I went back to Karla and broke her heart. It was the first and only girl heart that I ever broken and it didn't feel good at all. It's crazy Tina I remembered talking to you on the phone while she was sleep one time. I remembered she was such a heavy sleeper it was so easy ( could've NEVER did that with light sleeping Tiffany lol). Anyway I remembered you getting off the phone because you thinking it was wrong to be talking to you while you was in the other room. I remember Karla called tat night too Stacy slept through all of that. Either way looking back on it, it was wrong because I wouldn't want no one to do that to me. Moving on by the end of the summer that's when I purchased my first car. Of course I'm still at the nursing home  working the same shift as you and Karla. Either one of yall didn't have a car. You knew that I was seeing her why in the world this girl asked for a ride home? Here I am having Karla giving me evils eyes while you rolling with us home. You had the nerve to go on break with us too. Lord help me. Once again awkward. So that was September 2000 so I had to deal with that until I was promoted in December that year.Then I worked 9 to 5 so I didn't have to deal with that anymore.  In between that time you and I shared something that altered our friend zone a little bit. I think it was in the fall of that year I took you to a card game and when I dropped you off I joked so do I get a lil kiss for that? ( just jokin) so she gave me a peck, and that peck got longer and longer. It winded up being the best kiss I ever had in my life and created a forever question mark over our platonic relationship.That kiss is a whole journal by itself though. By that time next year I had moved on to another job and that stage of my life was over. Still was seeing Karla and you stayed in touch with me. We kind of lost touch for about a year and we both got caught up into other things. Still I brought you in a new chapter of friends that would forever change my life.



2003 Soulhop ( meeting Dutch)



By this time I was working at Bayview as a secretary. I noticed this very talkative nurse that walked around singing and humming. I was like who is this dude doing all of this damn singing. The first thing he said to me was it funny we both have jobs that normally men don't have and that was history. I was out of the music scene really but as he talked I was torn if I said whether I did music or not. So when he said he had a studio I told him I played guitar and I assumed that a brother didn't really know how to play guitar so I thought I was the man. When we hooked up that brother played and made me feel like crawling under a rock. Anyway that's how we met. Know how Katina play into this? Well she was almost the Hip Hop Helen of Troy. She almost made Dutch and I part ways. Being my nice Captain save a ho self I told Dutch that I knew a girl that could sing pretty good that you could use to record. I was excited so I told her what I was doing with him as well. So I take Katina over there and Dutch's tongue literally fell on the floor. He liked her as soon as he saw her. He knew that we was friends but he still tried his arm. They hooked up and went on a date 1 or two times and it really kind of bother me. I couldn't really say anything because I still was with Karla. At the same time even though we was just friends I didn't bring him someone to date I brought him a singer. I thought it was a lil tacky because I thought he could have waited a lil. I never really said anything though. It came out in one of our conversations though when he could tell I had a problem with him hollering at her. He told me I was mad because he went out with her. By that time they kind the direction they were going in had fizzled and he told me yo it's not worth it the good person in you is way more worth me dating her. That forever changed Dutch and I's friendship. At the same time bringing Tina into that situation without having my foot in the door was a bad decision. I mean I had just met the dude my damn self and she just started to hook up her own studio sessions on her own. I mean damn. Anyway she became a small part of the Soul hop crew by recording some some songs. The crew would constantly mess with us telling no one to try to date her because I was going to hate. Yeah I was a hater and still had a  lil feeling for her. So by that fall I'm moving up the ranks in the crew and Katina still comes by from time to time staying a part of the movement.Here we go again, she comes over for a session and one of the R& b singers Will is there. He asks me outta of respect was I with her and I said no we are just friends. So he makes his move. I think he got her number from me when we had a show one night. Aint that a bitch? To make a long story short Katina started a chain reaction of beef  that night fallen out with Dutch and I think Will called her and took her side and you know just started a whole bunch of confusion. We got caught up in some hearsay and while Tina was dating him I told her some dirt about the dude. Once again being a hater. So that caused a lot of drama and had her and I assess where we was at as friends. It looked like I couldn't stand her being with someone else even. though I had someone.



So between 2004 and 2007 we kept in touch every now and then but went on on separate lives still keeping in touch By 2005 I told her that I was seeing Madolyn and that was a shocker because her mom used to work with us and she was a lot younger than me. Lord if I only knew what I was getting myself into when I turned my car around to get her number. I think seeing her older and pregnant was a shocker and I just stopped to scold her. So I just gave her my number and told her to keep in touch and she said when she delivers she call me. Low and behold she called me Fourth of July 2005 and when spent the day together being the inspiration for the piece in my book called A long time coming. Madolyn is a whole story by herself so i'm not going to get into that but Madolyn was the girlfriend that sparked some of the best and most praised poems that I had ever written. So 05 to spring 06 was a chapter that changed a lot. Of course Tina was still there standing after of that as a friend.



By Feb 2007 I'm getting myself together working on projects with Kage and Alex of the Break-In crew. Katina and go out to the movies and dinner for her birthday and it was real nice. Once again seeming like we're gonna cross that line beyond just friends. Felt right, once again had another good kiss but we still drifting into other things. By March 2007 I met another woman in my life that would change the course of my history. Yes, you lol. Tiffany. This is another separate long story that will be told in another journal but this is the stage that we are at. Tina and I had lost touch for a lil bit but when she did call I told her that I had a girlfriend and she still wanted to go out. I was like naw I shouldn't and Tina was like damn she got you locked down huh? I was like it's just not a good idea. I just thought it would be weird hanging out with her being with Tiffany. I didn't know how to have a girl platonic friend and a girlfriend. It was just too weird especially being that Tina and I's lines would become blurry over the years. So why even go there? So we just went our separate ways again and I just enjoyed my new relationship



2008



Once again here I am looking back on another break up writing all of this post heartbreak stuff. I was stubborn at first but eventually let it out. Tiffany broke up mutually but it hurt seeing her move on so quick. Oh well once again, another story.



After I get back from Seattle Tina and I start kicking it again . She starts coming over hanging out. She knows I'm just taking it easy because of giving myself some time after my breakup. It's still nice to be around her again and amazing that we are still friends after kids, various relationships, and not speaking many times. We have a crazy history. It seems like we are right back at the point of wondering are we meant to be together? It always seemed liked we was a good match but it's something for some reason that always holds me back. I definately would like to see her become more of a giver and not always taker. After being with an unselfish giver like Tiffany it's hard going backwards lol. Anyway we hooked up went to the movies and had a good time recently and it was what it was. A good time. I told her I didn't want to analyze us anymore. It's it's meant to be, It's meant to be. Right now I'm doing me, as you can see. ( Had to put a bit P.O.P. in there). I just want to take it light, take it slow, date, travel, work on my career and just get stronger in the lord. Time will tell if we become more... or maybe we'll just stay in the friend zone.



Walter  



1-8-2008





Chronicles of me 3 My first Flight

                 4 Seattle