PostPoems Be Artistic. Be Creative. Be Inspired!

jen-



what happened, what happened? (you're asking)

well i have some reasons,

i just think i should be different about the way i am,

if you knew me in the here and now, you might agree.

you don't know the things i keep.

environment, is all I've been through, one after the next,

i am her subject, she will change me as often as i am willing,

and i am not, there is nothing healthy about the lifestyle i lead.

I'm angry, and resentful, vengeful...cidal.

i can be hurtful with words actions, of a lesser me,

or i can allow myself to be....hurt.

and i see that i have, allowed just that.

(what was that?)

be careful what you wish for - repercussions are resounding

i never wished for it, yet yeah, exactly. resounding*

i get the soft heart tones from nostalgia.

i try to live, like love could conquer, all

i swear i could break down and cry, at anytime

for it always feel like never, but i couldn't give up.

unfulfilled promise. these small yet whole fancies such as

filler, someone i try to get close to, such as you,

like this part of this poem was just for you:

[ to think of you, i see myself indulging

there's more at risk here*

than whats upon the table,

is the bluff of a hand, that I'm holding,

truly worth showing? ]

and I'm sure you didn't know, the star was just for you.

see, i conceal, I'm driven mad, and nothing i want

ever seems to add up, so forward, never straight.

everyone is callous, mainly her,

how could she not want, what i have to offer?

i drown in that,

what happened, what happened? (you're asking)

and the first part of this email, still gives no answers,

just me parading my ability, how gay of me.

well, not that it matters, I'm sure i wasn't here, to say anything anyway,

not that you made the effort anyway, but your day past, the 30th

of April, so Taurus, be well, hope it was all the 28 (right?) years worth

of celebration, that i think you deserve.

you mean a lot to me, and i am just a fuck up.

you can tell me to shut the fuck up

or you can respond like you haven't lately.

i need an address for you, to send this ceramic fairy gift

i have for you, unless, after this, you don't reassure me

which wouldn't be the first time i been left, for empty.

I'd tell you to come and get it, but you're light years away,

and i think i might never set eyes on you,

cos' it might kill me-

what happened, what happened? (you're asking)



nothing~

                                                    disillusioned boy~