Unending fear, terror, horror.
This is a large understatement of what I feel at this point and time.
Out of no where with no reason, or so it seems,
I have been plagued by a massive panic.
Darkness and being alone no longer seem to matter,
At least when it was about that, I did not fear it.
But now I fear,
I cower in terror,
And from what,
I have no idea.
I now sit here, trying not to shake,
Giving my best effort not to make it apparent something is wrong.
But who am I kidding?
It is painfully obvious by the look on my face and the fear in my voice.
Now, even tears are beginning to attempt to escape,
I just wipe them away and pray no one sees.
I want to speak out,
Let someone know what’s going on,
Try to get some of what’s going on off my chest,
But I can’t do that.
I can’t bring myself to tell someone else,
To ask someone to listen while I talk,
That is my job, a listener.
Still yet, I desperately wish for it to all end,
All this pain and anguish I fell in this unspeakable fear,
Or at the very least someone to confide in.
But I know that I’ll never speak to another about my problem,
I refuse to bother someone else with something that nothing can be done about.
Still yet though,
I just wish it would stop…
Chet Jordan
3-15-04
2:09 PM