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Unending fear, terror, horror.

This is a large understatement of what I feel at this point and time.

Out of no where with no reason, or so it seems,

I have been plagued by a massive panic.

Darkness and being alone no longer seem to matter,

At least when it was about that, I did not fear it.

But now I fear,

I cower in terror,

And from what,

I have no idea.

I now sit here, trying not to shake,

Giving my best effort not to make it apparent something is wrong.

But who am I kidding?

It is painfully obvious by the look on my face and the fear in my voice.

Now, even tears are beginning to attempt to escape,

I just wipe them away and pray no one sees.

I want to speak out,

Let someone know what’s going on,

Try to get some of what’s going on off my chest,

But I can’t do that.

I can’t bring myself to tell someone else,

To ask someone to listen while I talk,

That is my job, a listener.

Still yet, I desperately wish for it to all end,

All this pain and anguish I fell in this unspeakable fear,

Or at the very least someone to confide in.

But I know that I’ll never speak to another about my problem,

I refuse to bother someone else with something that nothing can be done about.

Still yet though,

I just wish it would stop…



Chet Jordan

3-15-04

2:09 PM