PostPoems Be Artistic. Be Creative. Be Inspired!

I sit staring at my screen, waiting for your name to ping, to see some funny little message, that little heart emoticon you send. It's been a few hours now, you're never normally this silent with me, even when I'm at work, I know, when I clock off and check my phone there's a poem, there's a message, there's something...there's you... reminding me I'm not all alone, and you love me. 

And I need that. I yearn for it, like a welcome face from my past, you make me smile when all I see is darkness. When I feel like crying, you're there, shielding me from a cruel world that would judge my weaknesses and destroy me for it. My knight in shining armour. 

But today, I sit and stare. No ping, no heart, just...quiet. So I let my anxiety get the better of me, again. I send you a message, I laugh, I joke, I prod. I type entire paragraphs and then erase them all, too scared to hit send because I don't want to open that particular can of crazy. Do you see it? Do you watch my name and see me typing and then get lost in the ether? Do you wonder what I'm saying? I don't know. I'm sick with heartache constantly, and you're the only medicine. 

My message gets desperate, I beg you to open up and talk to me, tell me what I've done, how can I fix it, please just talk to me, don't leave me all alone please please please...

And I delete it all. Because I can't. I can't ever let that side of me win.