For Conor

You gave me more than I asked for,

Imaginary memories, and converstations together, oh and laughs.

There was a price I paid for all that and now I know.

You were the excuse I used to forget myself.

I just lost focus, I couldn't focus.

They say it's because I'm a woman.

And you, you gave me cheap victorious visions that you had brought from the mountains and the mesas.

You always knew I was afraid of heights, but you lied and told them all I was just shy.

You never asked me to be brave. You never made put on warriors paint.

The air is as dry as your humor. Savannah heat.

The sky is as colorful as your mind.

The sun was like the love we made on an air matteress, cradled in the arms of the ocean.

 

Tears bubble up to the surface at the sound of your voice.

I love you. I love you. I love you.

We need a divorce. Cut the tie that binds.

But don't you mourn for that. I call my child after a daydream we both had once.

You were how I spoke to God.

That musical connection.

The priest, a medium, a temple. I swear you are my patron saint.

I worship inside your mind. That's right just behind your eyes.

 

I cut my hair, I thought you'd notice.

My emotions are as thin as paper.

Is that really my fault?

I wanted to hit you, like summer rain. Wash you clean and take your shape. Be the fire water that you need.

Some say I'm wild, Some say I'm crazy.

What was it you said? Unbalanced.

It's just that flood of actual emotion in this world where everything is always the same, but it keeps on changing, it circles 'round and around.

Infinity. My love for you just keeps spinning around.

I say, I can't die 'cause I haven't met you.

The invisible spirit in my bed. The man still living in my head.

Is this really gradititude?

Just let me free, never let me free, please let me free from your spell.

 

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Let me know what you think. ;)

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allets's picture

Paper Thin Emotions

Well, it seems you need toughening up! I did - didn't help much - I still suffer by choice, but would never forget myself ever! :D  ~~Lady A~~