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Is it me?

Is it my fault?

The way I crave the pain you give me?

I can't turn away from you because...

Well...

You are all I know.

I am used to your abuse.

The way you slam me against the wall,

It's common sense to me.

And I stay,

Because to leave would be a sin.

Or at least you say.

You tell me you hate me.

You tell me you love me.

Night time falls and you creep upon my room.

I struggle to pretend to be asleep.

I try to imagine you away from me.

Your hands work their way over to my face.

My breathing is halted by your hand, over my mouth.

I can't scream, but I've learned not to.

Sometimes living so close to hell is not fair.

Quickly you unbutton my life, revealing the scars.

It isn't the first time I have been bared to the world.

My heart on the line.

My pain for everyone to laugh at.

And it stings, the way you run your hands over my flesh.

Or is that your pocket knife,

Splitting my chest in two.

The feeling of each heart beat skipping.

Pain tonight has a different meaning.

I squirm under your weight.

You never were tiny.

My face jurks as your hand connects with my cheek.

Another slap of resentment.

"Without me, you would be nothing.

You would be WORTHLESS! You ARE WORTHLESS!"

My tears won't come.

Crying just won't help.

Metal clings against my wrists as I inhale sharply.

You have chained me to my doom.

Nothing I do seems to change you.

I comply, and you hate.

I struggle, and you hate.

I cry and beg, and YOU HATE!

Why is nothing ever enough for you?!

Finally liquid runs across my cheek.

As a tear falls over my cheek,

Your tongue works its way towards it.

My chest feels heavy as you move over me.

I wouldn't dream of screaming.

Who would believe me?

That the boy next door torments me?

That I have suffered in silence for so long?

You smile as you hear me scream out in agony.

But it isn't pain from my body,

It's pain from my heart.

It's that bright light,

The one that has been fading for so long;

It's that fire dying out.

And it's gone.

My body has become a hollow shell.

You seem satisfied that I am oblivious.

I retreat to where my mind is safe.

I'm holding my feelings in,

I'm dying slowly.

Fighting this reality hurts.

I hurt.

Emptiness surrounds me.

I am broken.

You release me from your grip.

You bind me to you.

I am no person, I am a slave.

Possesion takes place.

You take me and make me break.

I've become a part of you.

You dress me and hide me from the world.

You foster my pain like a tormented child turned murderer.

"Let this be a warning to you...

Let this stay with you:

I OWN YOU."

You're right.

You do.

And I'm too weak to fight it.

Softly you slip out of my window and leave me.

Leave me to cry.

Leave me to struggle.

Leave me to wallow in my pity.

I yurn to be free.

The breeze washes over me,

And now I realize:

I've given my soul to the devil.