Hating Myself

IHATE YOU!
IHATE YOU!
The voice inside my head shrieked
After I told her to go
She left with part of me
Part of me
That will always be dying
But never ever dead
I started killing it
The moment I spoke those words to her
I am a murderer
Unforgiven by myself
She hurt me its true
But that doesn’t change the fact
That I need her still
Part of me always gone
Now I am always alone
Alone with me resenting myself
For killing part of myself
And sending it away
Away with the girl that meant everything
I will always hate myself
for what I did to you
hate myself for not seeing truth
hate myself for brutally
killing part of myself
killing my heart
and sending it away with you

Author's Notes/Comments: 

leaving someone who hurt you may hurt more then what they did to hurt you

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SSmoothie's picture

hearts are only ever

hearts are only ever borrowed. Never lost or stolen. You only need to call it back but no one really ever bothers because theres always more pieces to borrow out. This is the miracle of love. ;) hugSS great Poem. Very affecting well done!


Don't let any one shake your dream stars from your eyes, lest your soul Come away with them! -SS    

"Well, it's life SIMS, but not as we know it" - ¡$&am

cdj410's picture

concerning the heart...

as always thanks for your comment on the poem. As for the heart I suppose by now I know all to well that it can never truly be lost for I have tried many times to lose mine so that it will be impossible for me to have it broken again. As some of my poems indicate I have been rather unsuccessful in doing so. Instead I have determined to seal it off and only lend or borrow it out as you put it to the very few I suppose deserving of such. Tho I have realized that if someone has part of your heart already you should not let them go even if the have caused you pain because the pain of letting part of yourself go as you cut off that person is greater. In such in instance forgiveness is for the benefit of yourself, not the other person.

SSmoothie's picture

agreed,

Makes great sense!


Don't let any one shake your dream stars from your eyes, lest your soul Come away with them! -SS    

"Well, it's life SIMS, but not as we know it" - ¡$&am