My alarm clock goes off, with a 'DING, DING, DING!'
Not your normal, awakening ring!
I trudge to the kitchen, to put on a pot.
Posing by the fridge(in her sequined gown), that darn hostess with the beautyspot!
I say to her, 'I need to get in there.'
She smiles and says, 'You mean in THIS NEW FRIDGEDAIR?!'
I push her aside, 'Get out of my way!'
Open the door to find, a years supply of Swanson's Souffle!
'Great!' I say. 'Now what will I make?'
The host appears and answers, 'How bout a Duncan Hine's cake?
Just tell me the price, and it can be yours!
It can be found in all your favorite, grocery stores!'
I throw up my hands, 'I give up!'
and pour myself, a nice hot cup.
Then I go to the washer, to put in a load.
I notice some curtains, as to it, I strode.
The host jumps over, and says to me,
'Do you want what's behind, curtain one, two or three?'
I struggle for my patience, to slowly take hold.
When an announcer's voice says, 'Today's show is brought to you by BOLD!'
I say, 'Just forget it! I'm off to the store!'
And that darn host is there...blocking the door!
His flashy white teeth are all that I see.
He asks, 'Do you want, door one, door two...or three?'
I scream at him, 'Get out of my home!
Take all your friends and leave me alone!'
'Oh', he says, 'I'm sorry...wrong answer.
But as a consellation you get...some laundry enhancer!'
'UGH!' I cry, and run out of the room.
The announcer announces, 'After this commercial break, we'll be back soon!'
With my aching head in hands, I start to bawl.
And the host says aloud, 'Don't forget, yesterday you won that supply of Tylenol!
Pull yourself together, its time for round two!
You give the answer, after I give the clue!'
I can only stare at him, for a quick pause.
Then I hear the sound of taped applause!
I pick up the TV remote, trying to escape this scene.
I turn it on and see myself on the screen!
I say outloud, 'I need to run far!!!!'
The announcer says, 'How about...IN YOUR BRAND NEW CAR??!!'
This is so utterly maddening, hour after hour!
So I escape upstairs, to take a long shower.
As I undress, and am about to step in...
the hostess appears, and pulls aside the cutain!
I grab a towel, and quickly wrap it around.
Then push her in the water, in her sequined gown!!!
I head to my bedroom to take a nap.
My head is pounding from all of this crap!
In the middle of my room, is a big wheel with lights!
The host yells, 'SPIN!!!!'...and I'm ready to fight!
I grab a sharp spoke, from off that big wheel,
and chase after the host who screams, 'Come on!!! Let's Make A Deal!!!'
So it looks like I've won, at least for today, I know.
For it seems I am stuck, inside a gameshow!!!!