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He was everything I hated when I first met him,

Ugly yet strangely bigheaded - I didn't get him,

If I was that odd looking I wouldn't be so vain,

His smug little grin just drives me insane!

I've got a boyfriend anyway, even though he treats me like shit,

But I'll always love my Andy - that's the way it is. Isn't it?

I just wake up every day - no excitement just fights,

But now he's giving me attention that feels so right.

He danced with me at the party and he stroked my hair,

And he kissed me 'Goodnight' and I really do think he does care.

A month later he's told me he loves me,

But I don't feel it back,

I hope he's not just saying that to get me in the sack.

I returned what he said just so he didn't feel bad,

But he isn't what I want. He isn't what I had.

I think it's really sweet when he takes me out to places around here,

I mean - I've been here about a million times but he's being such a dear.

I know he must care about me - and I don't mean to complain,

But every time we go to bed, does it have to be the same?

In. Out. In. Out. Job's a friggin' good 'n.

But I tell you what I just yearn for the time I actually do cum.

He tries to go down on me and he's like a cat possessed,

Licking up all the milk and ignoring all the rest.

Disgusting to say but hell it's true - I'm feeling nothing down there,

It's getting so fucking boring so I'm starting to just stare.

Shit. I think he noticed something's up. Poor lad, he doesn't know,

How to please a woman and while he's down there - where to go!

I'll just moan and groan like I'm on a porn film,

That'll mend his ego,

Afterall I couldn't tell him that his tongue work was fucking feeble.

I've not been with a guy like this before,

I thought that he'd be really good,

Because I've heard about his bedpost,

And it's definately more than most,

But still I can't help but feel disappointed.

As I expected so much from My Experiment,

But he's not even double jointed!

He's brought out a mirror and put it next to his chair,

So we can see ourselves whilst we're doing it there,

Pretty vain perhaps but we're pretty people,

And it is kinda kinky doing it in the mirror...

In. Out. In. Out. Hey... are my thighs getting thinner?

Sorry. Concentrate. Continue to moan.

Don't let him know you're better off on your own...