Fate

When you think of life

You think of all the happy times

When you think of death

You think of all of the horrible times

When I think of life

I think of all the bad times

Death makes me wonder

Why I do the things I do

I finally love myself

I have always loved my family and friends

But, then why did I do the things I did?

Why do I hide away my pain

So no one can see

I do this so that I don't cause them pain

I hide away all my feelings

But, all that does is cause more pain

So why do I torment myself further?

I do it because I do not want

To show my feelings

To much pain, to many tears shed

No one there to tell me

Things are going to be okay

There are many questions

With very few answers

Life is just a big obstacle course

But, why aren't there any shortcuts?

But, there is

From life to death you can not cheat

Many think it is the wrong thing to do

But, you can not change someone's mind

When they choose their destiny

You can not change it

So when they choose to move on

To go where there is no pain

And when it happens

Why do peopke ask themselves

What could I have done differently?

Why do they think it is their fault?

It is not anyones fault

Because people choose their own fate

And soon my fate may consume me

It is just a matter of time and pain


Author's Notes/Comments: 

This was written when I was starting to get clean from my herion addiction 7 years 2 months and 13 days ago I chose to change my fate when I was 20 years old.

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