PostPoems Be Artistic. Be Creative. Be Inspired!

So the woman is talking to this slithery thing

I decide to call it.... a BUFFALO!

This squirming buffalo is talking to the woman

I can hear its hissing voice as it speaks



That hiss Changes my mind on the buffalo thing

I decide to call it a SNEAK, descriptive, but...

SNAKE!! Yeah! looks like how it sounds

Now I know three things!



My name is ADAM....



I like fruit and naming animals

And I LIKE the woman creature....

Who needs that old tree of knowledge, anyway?

My head is filled with all this GREAT information



Oh, no...WHAT is she DOING?!



She picks a forbidden fruit and,

she is calling me over with that smile of hers

The snake slithers away as I approach,

shooting me another disgusted, dirty look



I join her, under the tree as she takes a bite

She tells me how delicious it is

She tells me how CLEAR things have become

Oh, well, Can't have her think I'm a wuss

I take a bite.....



I wave my fingers, slowly in front of my face

My fingers are leaving colorful TRAILS in the air

OOHHHH..AAHHH..WOW!..Everything looks DIFFERENT

Strange thoughts are going through my head



I know much MORE than three things, now

I know so much more than I understand

My head is floating in a very strange place

The woman has rainbow colors around her face



And I am uncomfortable about being NAKED

Where did THAT come from?

I peek at my Johnson, I'd named earlier

Suddenly...it seems...small



I look at the woman

She is covering her furry patch and blushing

We scurry to a fig tree, plucking a bunch of leaves

Using small vine, we sew them together

My Johnson and her WHATEVER are covered



"ADAM!!"...again with the VOICE!!



"We gotta HIDE, babe!! I whisper

"I've been watching rocks melt and morph into turtles

I can't talk to the Man like this!!

What the hell is IN those apples, ANYWAY?"



We run and hide in the foliage

The big man is strolling through the garden

"ADAM!!...WHERE ART THOU?"



"Well, you see...I heard your voice in the garden,

and, I was.....naked so......I hid myself"



"THEE HAVE EATEN OF THE FORBIDDEN FRUIT!!!"



I start thinking with my new understanding

on how to play the game.."You might say that, God"

I wasn't about to TOUCH that tree out of respect

This WOMAN put a spell on me with her feminine ways"



"Under her spell, I found myself, biting that apple!

You would NOT BELIEVE the things I started seeing!!

She set the WHOLE thing up

with that Sneak......I mean SNAKE

Honest, I am the victim, here, Your Big-ness



I give an accusing eye to the woman

God gives an accusing eye to the woman

Adam, I thought to myself, You're home free, buddy





*     *     *





Ok, so God approaches us and is royally pissed off

Why, I have no idea?

This “knowledge” fruit wasn’t half as bad

As he made it out to be

(Although it did seem to be too much of an overwhelming information overload for Adam-oaf’s puny brain to handle.)

What’s so wrong with being a LITTLE self-aware?



I turn this half-wit Adam-oaf

Into an intelligent THINKING being

And how does he repay me?



Like the born wuss that he is

First he tries to “hide” from God

(I think the effect of the “knowledge” fruit must have worn off)

Then, when he realises he cannot hide

He blames it all on ME!

He points the finger at me

Telling God I MADE him do it!



Yeah right! Takes two to tango honey...



But God seems to have so much more trust

In “man” rather than WOman



Like I said before... it’s a patriarchally evolved universe... *sigh*



God laps up every word of Adam’s far-fetched pathetic dribble

I try to tell God that it was the serpent who started it all



He seems to believe this

(Why shouldn’t He? He’s supposed to know everything, right?)

And then, proceeds to dish out

Our respective “punishments”

For disobeying his direct orders...



The first to cop it was the serpent

God made his arms and legs disappear

Condemning him to crawl on his belly

For the rest of eternity

(Or at least until natural evolution spawns a new species with the limbs back intact – but hey, if I mention this inevitability out loud, God will surely strike me down right here on the spot – He really ought to munch on some “knowledge fruit, then He might realise the loopholes in His creation.)



“Sorry Mr. Serpent...” I say with remorse.

“No worries babe” He seems unusually cheerful,

“It was worth it, just to see the look on His face!”

He chuckled, “Besides, I was doomed

To be a lowly slimey creature anyways...

Part of me will always be with you

My gorgeousness!” He said

As he slithered away... on his belly.



”Part of me will always be with you”... what did he mean by this?



“RIGHT!” snapped God “WOMAN!”



Uh oh... here we go...



“I WILL GREATLY MULTIPLY YOUR PAIN

IN CHILDBEARING;

IN PAIN YOU SHALL BRING FORTH CHILDREN,

YET YOUR DESIRE SHALL BE WITH YOUR

HUSBAND,

AND HE SHALL RULE OVER YOU.”



Whaaaaaaaaaaat!?? Nooooooooooooooo!!!



This is too cruel

Not only must I suffer

The most horrendous pain

Bearing Adam-oaf’s offspring,

I must also desire him??

AND be ruled by him???

What the...?



Suddenly, the disgust I always felt

When I looked at Adam

Turns into this weird feeling

I had never felt before

Like I wanted to get closer to him

I wanted to touch him... make babies with him!



Nooooo!!! This can’t be... how can it be? He is disgusting!

Please God, No!



But it’s too late, God’s decision is final.



“RIGHT!... ADAM!” The voice booms.



This better be good... I swear, if all he gets is a slap on the wrist... grrrr...



As He dishes out Adam’s “punishment”

All my hopes and dreams

Sink to an all time low...



Turns out Adam’s punishment was to be banished

From this paradise and become a “mortal”

He had to toil the earth

And grow his own food

(The free-loadin’ fruit tree days were over – just as well, his diarrhoea problem was quickly turning “paradise” into a sewage treatment plant.)

And eventually when he “died”

His body would return to the dirt

From whence it came...



You know what this means don’t you?

Double Whammy!!

Being condemned to be tied

To this Adam-oaf forever

This punishment would be

Indirectly applicable to me as well...

But did God ever stop to think

About this? Noooooo...



Out of the blue, Adam-oaf speaks up

As if trying to appease God

With his stupid naming “responsibilities”

“I name thee Eve, because you are

The mother of all living.”

But under his breath, away from God’s reach

He muttered “mother of all muck-ups!”



I’ve only been in existence for a few days

But already I’ve been humiliated

Shamed and blamed

For all of “man’s” miseries...

I’ve been forced to worship

And serve an oaf

Who has no respect for me

Whose “dirt” fate I now share

Thanks to an unfair and insensitive God

With only extreme pain, giving birth

To the oaf’s offspring

To look forward to...



They shall pay for this! Inequality and sexual discrimination may not mean anything now, but I’ll see to it that they’re sorry for what they’ve done to me! Now... where was that ‘Hormonus Replacementus’ tree?





... to be continued.



© BoarLen Productions 2004