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The Southland Diaries (day 10)



The tenth day of my ‘real estate promotion guy’ job at the Southland complex. It’s been copied verbatim and has not been altered in any way, hence the grammatical mistakes and poor expression. Each number corresponds to a page in the A4 note book I used to write all this rubbish in.





Fri 16/07/2004



1.



08:29am …going to the toilet… just had to leave this time stamp.



08:51am …Mornin’ Pete, mornin’ Karen!



Picked up a bottle of water from Safeway… so fucken dehydrated. Leaving the hat on today. It was a good night, but I really should have saved all my dough for tomorrow night. I’ll have to pack some sandwiches now… and stock up on water. At least the drugs should be taken care of. Half a gram of mdma should get me through the night. ;o)



Two more days of this shit… thank fuckers! Will I even stay the whole day tomorrow? My only chance of getting a lift may be via N***, early afternoon. Maybe he can pick me up? Hmm… might text him now.



Message sent -> What time are you taking off again? Fuck it, it’s my last day of this degrading job so I might as well piss off early… I can help you set up. ;o)



N*** called back before I’d even finished writing down the above message. Says he might not head off early after all… it’s all good. I was kinda hoping he still was… I want to leave early. Burning employment bridges is fun. No other act of defiance sends the same level of freedom-endorphins rushing through your arteries. I’ll never forget the cartoon with the worker pissing on a portrait of his boss, laying on top of his desk. “I quit” read the caption.



2.



9:33am  New record if I’m not mistaken…



Got a message from N****… sent one back

SMS Tennis



Message sent -> Yeah I didn’t get much sleep… as usual. Would love to have a few games tonight but I have to save the little cash I have left for tomorrow night… going to a psy-trance party in the Otways. Damn… I’m getting uninvited high-school hard-ons sitting here at my desk…. Wanna shag later?



Msg received -> Haha ur a bit of a cheeky monkey this morning aren’t u! Well… just how lucky u feeling today? hehe Interesting thought 10.30 on a Friday morning =)



Message sent -> Feeling very lucky! In fact, bring a friend – a threesome is calling me! :op



Msg received -> Ohh so ur into that are u? Actually what guy isn’t. Have you had one before? U can tell me I can keep a secret, I’ll even tell u ive had one this year.



Message sent -> Ahh… wish I had some beans to spill on this subject, not like I’d hold back on any juicy details – as you can probably tell from my diary writing! You and your friend WILL be my first. ;o) Go on… see it as my ‘going away’ gift… After all, it may be my last chance – could be coming home in a body bag! :-( Grant a condemned man his last wish? :op



Msg received -> Wish I could help u out but they aren’t the sort of thing u can plan. If they happen then wicked. Cut that body bag talk out u might jinx yourself!



Message sent -> Hehe… had to see how far I could push it. ;o) But still, you can’t blame me for feeling excessively frisky on the eve of my Nigerian adventure…



11:12am  First sighting of back-pack man… always that same outfit. Does he ever wash it?



> Madness is in the eye of the beholder <



11:20am  I need a piss… and more coffee…



12:28pm

Msg received -> Hehe nah I don’t blame ya, you’re only human…



Message sent -> So… dinner at my place, say eight o’clock? :op



12:50pm

Msg received -> Ive got plans tonite… u need to book me early.. lol



Message sent -> Hmm… ok then, what about Sunday night? I’ll be coming down from Sat night’s festivities and in need of some TLC… my penis should be functional again by then as well. :o) (did I mention I have no shame or dignity?)



Msg received -> Nah u didn’t mention it, but I can see plenty.. I was going 2 c spiderman 2 with a mate but not 100%... U are so cheeky robbie…  



Message sent -> * evil grin * geekman 2 can wait… What if I really did jinx myself, and the body bag premonition comes true? This weekend is your last chance to experience the expert cunnilinguism of Billy Boarster! (unless, of course, you don’t mind catching up on a week night?) Cheeky? Says the woman who held my stiff cock in her hand at a public venue! LOL



Msg received -> Haha I was verrry drunk as u may have noticed. I just might take u up on the offer I will ring u Sunday…



Message sent -> It’s a date! I’ll even shave against the grain, for that extra smooth experience. :op(_Y_) I was pretty drunk myself, but I do recall you saying “I think you’d make a good boyfriend”. Take it back yet? lol But I sure am a great smserer! ;o) No arguments there eh?



Msg received -> You know what, to tell you the truth I barely remember that nite! I remember u from parkview alot better! Yeh u seem like a nice guy, i take back nothing! =)



Message sent -> Aaww… that’s so sweet! I’ll be out of phone range so I’ll let you know as soon as I’m back in civilization… Have a good weekend until then! ;o)





16:30

Cheekiness may get you expelled from online poetry communities, but it can also get you laid.



Having said this, I’m knocking off early and walking down to A**** & R********’s bookstore to hand the girl behind the counter a piece of paper with my profile address, instructing her to look in the “diaries” section. But first I must go empty this bladder…