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Dieting.

I am getting very fat, I have decided to do something about this. Too much fat as all Doctors will tell you is not healthy. I went over in my mind’s eye that what I must cut out. The first thought was Beer. I must admit I gave much thought to beer. What else can one drink in a Public House?

I decided to put beer on my list, I would have to give it much more thought. After all there are other things that one must consider.  Butter I could use butter much more sparingly. Yes Butter; I can spread the bread with a fine layer of butter. Make sure that every millimetre is covered; a few gaps in the spread would not be noticed.

I made a small note butter use sparingly.

My next thought was meat. Must I eat meat every day of the week? No meat can be cut I can make do with other things. Fish comes to mind. No I have decided that fish is not for me, too much ice in fish. If only they would not use so much water and ice in fish. The last piece of cod, I fried and the frying pan was half full of water with a layer of oil that I had used to fry the fish. The water cannot come from the oil; it must be in the fish. Is this done to make the fish weigh heavier? No, if I eat fish then a tin of sardines, one small tin of sardines will not make me fat. I next made a list of what I eat on a daily basis. Eggs, cut down on eggs, make do with two instead of four fried eggs with my bacon. Bacon only fry two rashers instead of six that should help me to loose weight.

Sugar cut down on sugar two spoonfuls instead of the six I use every time I make a pot of tea. Come to think of it I have tea with my breakfast, coffee for my mid morning break; tea with lunch; tea at three in the afternoon, tea at teatime and a cup of tea before I go to bed. Now I know where all of the sugar goes, I seem to be buying sugar nearly every day. Cut down on sugar that should help me to loose weight.

Potatoes, everyone knows that potatoes make one fat. Cut out my Fish and Chip shop every second night. Come to think of it, it is really the beer that causes me to enter the Fish and Chip shop. Must buy something for my supper I tell myself. Now I am beginning to think that it is the beer talking. Perhaps I really should cut out beer altogether from my diet.

Having second thoughts, if I stop drinking beer then it means no point in going to the Public House. No more fish and chips. Then a picture of my drinking mates appears before my eyes, I just cannot let them all down. What about the Coach ride to the seaside we are all looking forward to that if I do not drink any more then I will disappoint and upset all of my mates. What the hell am I doing with this stupid sheet of paper and this old pen? Better read it through before I tear it up. Read title. Cannot believe I wrote this. Dieting, What on earth shall I go on a diet for? I am not fat perhaps a little overweight yes. But fat, no way I’m not fat at least not compared to people like Fatty Arbuckle now he was fat as far as I remember in the films of so long ago. Must remember in the morning to clear this mess up better have my hot sweet tea now before it is time to pop up the wooden stairs to my lovely bed.