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A Day at Bern’s Flat.

Wake up rub eyes climb out of bed go to toilet relieve the bladders mad rush to evacuate all fluids that are not wanted and more. Wash, dress, shave, and go to kitchen boil water for cup of hot sweet tea. Spread toast with butter and jam take it into the living room eat my bread butter and jam drink my sweet tea. Read my daily newspaper.

Go to computer, read emails fro some of the most idiotic firms that want to sell me an eighty five year old a brand new sports car. I could not afford such rubbish when I was working and earning good money now I am an old age pensioner making do on a state pension where the hell would I find money to buy a sport car.

To all of those ladies in the world’s oldest profession, I am not able and certainly not willing to go for those tempting offers that are made every day by email. Happily married now for the last sixty years I have no need of your services whatever they might promise or not.

To all of the shops firms and others that offer me bargains and bonuses and the good Lord knows what I am not in the position to buy such unwanted goods as you all offer me on such generous terms.

At my age I am not even tempted to look twice at such offers of dating with strange women that want to get married with someone that they have never seen and probably never will see, I will not ask you to desist from such emails but do not send the invites more than one a week my email provider has a limited capacity and might just cancel my email program.

I have no spare monies, so please stop sending me begging letters through the post and through the email. I feel sorry for all animals that are not roaming freely in the wilds of their countries of birth. I have no time whatsoever for Zoo’s or animal parks. I will never even consider going on a safari to Africa or anywhere else for that matter.

As for begging letters for orphaned children, let me tell you I was placed in an orphanage as a three-year-old child. Food and clothing with a bed to sleep in were all on hand but love that intangible something was forever lacking. Love is not to be bought, if it were I would be one of the first to give money to children’s charities.

My last plea stop sending emails to complete strangers they are not wanted and it costs me time and nerves to delete each and every one of them.

Time for a midday meal; eat wash up the used utensils put them away in their respective places. Go into living room turn on television watch afternoon cooking programs. Tea at five watch television again after tea hoping that a good criminal film that encourages one to think then bed time at ten thirty.