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My Complaint.

Oh! Yes I have a complaint, It is nothing that should concern you, it is shall I say a private complaint, something that I have been carrying around, unnecessarily with me since the day of my birth. It is something that I always hide, No I am not ashamed of it but even you would be against letting everyone see it at his or her own wish.

I was once told not to play with this thing, it could drop off and then what would I do without it. I have often given this some thought. Would it really be of any damage if it did drop off? Would I miss it, would it be painful what is worse would I have to go into hospital to be operated on? Would it be one of those embarrassing things that people so often talk about? Could other things go missing? What is worse would everyone know about my embarrassing predicament what would be the judgement if my loosing this was to become a court case in a court of Law. Would the judge be on my side? What would it cost me my loosing this thing? I am not you know overburdened with money could I claim my expense from some public fund or the other?

As you can see I have really this problem or complaint, I begin to wonder if I am alone with this or do others go through this most trying time. I cannot believe that I am alone in this, not this of all things. I thought that at my age I would be past all of this, I am nearly eighty six am I making problems for myself or do I have the right to tell you all about my Complaint. You know one of my fears is that you will all think that this is a good joke and that I should have been more careful with this that I have lost. I can tell you this is no joke I am sure to have a few more grey hairs by the morning either that or a few more of my other grey hairs will fall out of my poor balding head again. Now I can feel the question that you are all asking what is my complaint. Okay I think that I have kept you all in enough suspense to let you into my secret. Please do not laugh but I have lost my Belly Button. It is a very worrying time for me at the moment. I am seeing a Doctor to morrow Monday. I hope that he can give me a few answers to all of the questions I have asked in this my complaint from your scribbler Bern.