To whom it may concern.
To whom it may concern, Please take notice that of today the ninetieth of exwam I declare myself to be sane and in full control of my what nots. Any complaints concerning me or my behaviour will be ignored ad infinitum. I hold no responsibility for any financial transaction made by any member of my Family, My Friends or any other person or persons both living and dead. All court cases arising from this concept of a letter are null and void as of the ninetieth of exwam.
The necessity for me to write this concept should be obvious to all of a sound mind. For those in other circumstances, complaints have reached me through a certain grapevine that many are out to blacken what is left of my good name. For those that could not care less about my name being blackened please ignore this concept of a letter it is none of your business anyway.
On advice of my good friend Donald Duck and his mate Mickey Mouse. I have slowly written this my concept for those of you that cannot read very fast. I hope this does not involve too many of my so-called readers. To be able to read fast one must have a very quick mind does this really apply to you of all people? Do not answer that I will take it for granted.
This concept is not for the very young, as innocence is taken for granted by juniors up till ten years of age. Over this age ask your doting parents for permission to contact the Family Lawyer or any other Idol of the Walt Disney studio’s for personal advice which I am sure will be freely given to all young adults whatever that might be.
I have been told to keep this concept of a letter very short as many have the habit of throwing things they do not understand in the nearest fire or waste paper basket whichever is the nearest. I will close this short epistle to the currents on the ninetieth of exwam at this my dwelling near the forest gate of King Wenceslaus. It is said that many a tear will be shed at receiving this concept but do not let this bother you I have enough paper hankies bought for this occasion.
I really like this Bern
KS