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First cut is the deepest.
I got myself a job,
at a local big Hotel.
The sign it should have said,
Welcome Inn to Hell!
I didn"t stop to think,
my senses had gone deaf.
I did not hear them shout!
don"t be a Commie Chef!
The Head Chef he was Swedish.
His English was a joke.
I could not understand,
a bloody word he spoke!
They used an intercom,
to say a Check was on,
they used a Commie Chef,
to say the Check was gone!
I only did the Starters,
(of which the choice was four)
and dreaded every time,
a voice so loud it Roared!
The Chef would press the button.
(his English was a crime)
I felt like pressing back,
gonna give me that in Mime!
It sounded "Babble Babble!"
(a nightmare in my head)
For i had to ask again,
"What was that you said?"
The intercom exploded!
Like a young man in his prime,
"I tell you once, i tell you twice,
there is no second time!"
I thought oh Bugger this!
I could try Pizza Hut,
and picked up a sharp knife,
the next thing i was cut!
The blood it was a shock,
my pulse it pumped it faster,
it spurted everywhere,
"I think i need a plaster."
I was taken down the stairs,
reassurance they did give.
Along with free Band-Aid
and told that i would live.
They said" we"ll phone your Mum,
her numbers on our pad."
and i thought oh God,
oh this is really sad.
My kitchen life is over,
i might as well be dead.
The Waiting Staff they rule!
On gossip they are fed.
For the Waitresses all laughed,
and i overheard their talk.
They"d seen a bigger cut,
on the end of someones Cock!
