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Teeny tiny tablets

Chalky white

Painkillers

Inside a stoic hand



Nerves are forgotten

Long drowned in a tequila current

And everything is clear

As she remembers hell

Day to day hell

And the disembodied pain

That is her soul mate



She raises her hand

Both to welcome her fearsome enemy

And to ward off her tretcherous limb

But to her dismayed relief

Her mouth is traitor too

And in greedy gulps consumes



In her panic stricken grief

She mourns her loss

Those who she knew and loved

Have long since left her

Those who she thought she knew

And tried to love

She never really had

And those she wished had wanted her at all



In her panic and fear

She again remembers life

Or the hell she called life

And she recalls the idea if

Hope is alive so are you

And she realizes she is only now

Lying her tired corpse to rest

As hope has elluded her

Longer then she has elluded everything



And so her panic fades

Along with the faces she

Had once cherished above all others

She is calm now

No duality in her nature

Fighting for control or empathy

Now the teeny tiny tablets own her



And the EMT's will say

In some hours time

How a pretty girl of 18 years

Lied pale and still upon a carpet of portraits

Feigning sleep and holding to

Herself a childhood toy

Amongst her scattered reality of paper