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Robotic Existence
Is this it?
Is this all that world is destined to be?
Full of ignorant people,
Violence, pollution...
Advancing technology that’s only making things worse
Weapons of mass destruction
Blood shed and war around every corner
No one is ever satisfied... never happy
I feel like a robot... a zombie
Simply walking through life
One moment after another with no end in sight
No hope... no hope that means anything anyway
Suicide isn't an option
I'm stronger than that...
Or maybe I'm just not that stupid.
I get up every morning
Go to work
Go to school
I go to bed every night
Wondering how much sleep I'll actually get.
Arguing is becoming a ritual
Chores are becoming tedius
Reading and writing...
Old hobbies that are dying fast
I have no time
I'm forgetting who I am
There are pieces missing
Too much time flying by
I've had to grow up too fast
Leaving my friends behind
Leaving my family in the dust
So many mistakes to fix
So many telling me not to worry so much
I feel like I'm being ripped apart
I want to scream.
Just one really long,
Heart wrenching,
Jaw dropping
Blood curdling,
Time stopping scream...
No more crying, don't have time
No more getting sick, don't have time
Getting married... can't even enjoy that...
I don't have time
Taking the vows and not even thinking about them first.
I love him
More than anything
He loves me… I know he does
I can see it...
Feel it...
But is love enough?
My next breath comes shallow...
Migraines come fierce...
Stress is too much,
I'm being broken down
Torn into shreds
Spread too thin
However I say it...
Still the same
Is this what I want?
This life I have
Full of crashing dreams
Never enough money
Not popular… not that I care about that, though
Popular is overrated
Always has been
Too many people concentrate on that too
Personally, I don’t want to be hated…
But I’ll take respect before I will love.
Before I will friendship.
I’ve earned the respect.
Distinguished myself from the crowds that I was once a part of
Numb now
Oh god, how I wish that was true
I feel everything
Too much
Emotion is supposed to be beautiful
But is pain beautiful?
It’s all that lets me know I’m still alive.
So it has to be beautiful
Doesn’t it?
I’m so sick and tired of selfish people
I have given everything!!!
My heart
My soul
My body
Every fiber of my being
I have nothing left for myself
Nothing left to be scared of
To be taken away…
Nothing
This world is failing,
But I am determined to succeed
No matter how I feel
No matter if it kills me
I will be remembered
When I die… a long time from now
My death will not be for nothing
I have made a difference at my own expense
Leaving me with only this robotic existence…
