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Is this it?

Is this all that world is destined to be?

Full of ignorant people,

Violence, pollution...

Advancing technology that’s only making things worse

Weapons of mass destruction

Blood shed and war around every corner

No one is ever satisfied... never happy



I feel like a robot... a zombie

Simply walking through life

One moment after another with no end in sight

No hope... no hope that means anything anyway

Suicide isn't an option

I'm stronger than that...

Or maybe I'm just not that stupid.



I get up every morning

Go to work

Go to school

I go to bed every night

Wondering how much sleep I'll actually get.

Arguing is becoming a ritual

Chores are becoming tedius



Reading and writing...

Old hobbies that are dying fast

I have no time

I'm forgetting who I am

There are pieces missing

Too much time flying by

I've had to grow up too fast

Leaving my friends behind

Leaving my family in the dust



So many mistakes to fix

So many telling me not to worry so much

I feel like I'm being ripped apart

I want to scream.

Just one really long,

Heart wrenching,

Jaw dropping

Blood curdling,

Time stopping scream...



No more crying, don't have time

No more getting sick, don't have time

Getting married... can't even enjoy that...

I don't have time

Taking the vows and not even thinking about them first.

I love him

More than anything

He loves me… I know he does

I can see it...

Feel it...

But is love enough?



My next breath comes shallow...

Migraines come fierce...

Stress is too much,

I'm being broken down

Torn into shreds

Spread too thin

However I say it...

Still the same



Is this what I want?

This life I have

Full of crashing dreams

Never enough money

Not popular… not that I care about that, though

Popular is overrated

Always has been

Too many people concentrate on that too

Personally, I don’t want to be hated…

But I’ll take respect before I will love.

Before I will friendship.

I’ve earned the respect.

Distinguished myself from the crowds that I was once a part of



Numb now

Oh god, how I wish that was true

I feel everything

Too much

Emotion is supposed to be beautiful

But is pain beautiful?

It’s all that lets me know I’m still alive.

So it has to be beautiful

Doesn’t it?



I’m so sick and tired of selfish people

I have given everything!!!

My heart

My soul

My body

Every fiber of my being

I have nothing left for myself

Nothing left to be scared of

To be taken away…

Nothing



This world is failing,

But I am determined to succeed

No matter how I feel

No matter if it kills me

I will be remembered

When I die… a long time from now

My death will not be for nothing

I have made a difference at my own expense



Leaving me with only this robotic existence…