Once Again

Guess what?

It happened again.

I did what I shouldn’t have.

I saw that I had no choice.

I thought that it would help me feel once again.



It all came back to me, though.

The old habit.

Putting myself down.

The guilt trips.

The numbness.

Not being wanted.

Not mattering to anyone.



An argument led me down a road in which I couldn’t turn back.

I found the blade.

I saw my release within it.

I couldn’t decide how far or how deep.

I just knew I had to.

So, I did.



I cut myself again.

So many promises were broken with that first slice of flesh.

Then, I saw the blood.

I thought about all of the people who would be mad.

I apologized over and over again.



However, something kept me from going further.

One thought made me stop.

What that thought was will forever be my secret.

But I knew that I would be fine now.

I knew that I would go on to live.

Because life was a gift given to me.

And I certainly don’t plan on returning it.

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