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I am so lost in this world i dont know what i am sapose to do like i hurt so much all the time, well maybe not all the time but a lot, its very confusing i love him but i dont want to anymore i want him to be strong and leave me let me deal with the pain and move on take a break because i dont know if i am a hundred percent sur he is what i want i just dont know and its taring me apart like i cant figure anything out, some days everything is amazing but them others its all fucked up and more than often its fucked up and i feel like i hate him and like i dont know the thoufght of him being with someone else kills me but i dont know maybe thats the only reason i wanted him back cause i dont want him with anyone else, i honestly dont know, i believe there is actually a man out there who could truly love me like i know adam does but it just sucks i said growing up i would never stay with some one who would cheat on me and i have and i hate myself for it like i feel so stupid and the truth is i am, i justh ate being this personi  feel weak without him i dont know i just love him but i want to be loved better i just cant make sense of anything i feel ever.... i just want more and i am not sure adam is that more anymore....:(