Author Information
Dead man's thought
My name was Ade
Don't get scared
I died today
Like a friut that fell and rot
Under Gods swollen foot
Away from the maddening crowds
I'm buried under this ground
With no food to eat
No air to breath
And no chance to tell the bitter truth to your questions
Like who knows the root
Whose face pretends to be nice and cute
Whose phase hides the guilt
And who tell the truth
We believe without a proof
All this answers i know
But a chance to tell you
I get a No
By this forces down here
I'm caged in this place
With the dead mans thought.
zuby
nice
I like the concept and its refreshing you mixed up your wording alittle. (not using bland common words) however...the ”im dead/I died today” just struck me as repetitive. Sometimes when telling a ”story poem” , you dont want to always want to say exactly whats going on. Let the readers mind make it theirs. Or, at least combine him saying ”I died today” now I know hes dead, and when it happened in one shot. Anyways...good job.
TRIZ
thabnks man for that
thabnks man for that observation... well noted