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Years ago,

We nearly killed eachother...literally.

Police constantly at our door,

For everything from domestic violence to warrants.

They came to deliver restraining orders,

And to take her child away at my request.



Her name, is Evelyn.



I was immature then,

Bouncing from one relatinship that had dinosaur values,

Into a science fiction drama.

She bounced from her old relationship,

And got lost in the abyss of drugs,

Unable to focus on anything called love.



We had the ultimate recipe for disaster.



At that time,

I was thrown out of my home,

And she took me in.

We never really knew each other, long enough to see

Who or what we really were.



In this four years, since,

We have came full circle.

And are now,

Circling the wagons.



As it stands,

I have ended the all time relationship,

One that a Harlequin romance could not write or describe.

It's betrayal reads like a crimminal rap sheet.

I never thought I could fear anything more, than Evelyn,

But I lost my heart, my mind, and my soul,

In my ex lovers facade.





But Evelyn is sober NOW,

And my heart has softened its stone-age judgements.

SHE knew my last lover who violated me.

SHE knows that my ex is a liar, conjure,

    And a thief of innocense.



My ex, came to visit me, twice in a hospital.

One whole hour in 16 days.



Evelyn, during my last hospital stay,

Has stayed by my side, non-stop.

She has cared for my four legged babies.

She has cared for my home.

She has been my biggest support.



We talked on the phone for hours, not minutes.

She visited for afternoons, not moments.



And my ex, sees Evelyn as "unredeemable".



That supposed,



"Jewish Dharma,

Who loves to sing and dance ballet,

Who claimed to be a stripper,

A mother,

A Professor of Philosophy..."



But what is to ironic, is that:

She can not love someone in faith.

She cannot dance without sexual intent.

She is not a mother, no children exist, anywhere.

She is not a professor, and has no "Philosophy"

    Of holding herself responsible to her own actions.



She does not take the time to know that she violates,

   Man,

   Nature,

   God,

   And Love.



Yet, SHE,

The "unredeemed one",

Has helped heal my heart of some of the biggest hurts.

Some, SHE herself created.

And SHE has healed some of the ones my ex inflicted.

Still, in her loving way, she reassures me,

That there are many hurts that I must heal on my own.



In God, all things will be made well.

In God, all things can be redeemed and redeemable.

In my eyes, I have not only given her forgiveness,

    But am choosing to see the new her, transformed.

Finding a place my EX can not go, and consciously,

REFUSES to go.



I find it amazing,

That after all the harsh words, and cruel intentions,

We still find a way to love eachother,

In laughter, in love, and in friendship.

Never:

Have I found a friend to laugh with me,

To hold my hand when I'm afraid,

To have a "sleep-over" as an adult,

And cherish me as a friend--just as I do her.



I know certain animals can re-generate amputated limbs,

I know that hearts can mend,

I know that people rebuild after tradgedy's,

And I know that the most fragile of flowers,

    Find resilience after a great storm.



Perhaps,

We have survived the ugly.

And maybe in this second time,

Things will be ripe for this dandelion love.