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I CAN HANDLE YOU LIKE THAT
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OTHER WOMEN... "I'm married.." You blurted out over the phone.
My heart sank,
I felt daggers from relationships a thousand times over.
"I'm sorry, I still hope we can be friends."
Yeah, sure I thought.
Another ploy, another player.
But my gut told me another story,
That somehow, your "genuine-ness" wasn't just another,
GAME.
And players don't reveal themselves,
Not the way you did,
I even imagined you shedding some tears,
As we talked about your breast cancer.
"Are you bi-curious?
Very married, want to stay married, kids involved...
THAT KIND OF MESS?
Because if that is the case...
I RUN, DON'T WALK, AND NEVER LOOK BACK..."
Tears started to well up in my eyes,
Yet resolve held them firmly in place...
As I felt the lump in my throat: HARDEN LIKE STONE.
"My ex, who left me less than 30 days ago...
She," I coughed, trying to swallow, "left me for a man..."
That long cold silence between two of us as strangers...
Who on their own leaped into Faith...
Praying that the other was still on the line.
"Ouch!" You spoke-----my words exactly!
"Listen, I'm sorry.
If it's any conselation,
I have tossed it around in my head
A million times...
And there was just no nice way of saying it."
Again, I paused.
"What the fuck are you doing?"
Gilbert Godfrey, get out of my mind...
This is not a time for humor.
"Can I process this with you?"
You've put a mortor in my living room...
And I don't know if it's a dud, or just waiting to go off.
And God knows I don't want to get hurt."
"Sure."
And before I could ask anything...
"You are a really funny, witty, intelligent person...
I at the very least want friendship..." You choked.
You told me that your marraige was an open relationship,
Yet grimmaced at my having "cheated"...
And the chasm between us broadened.
"Ohhh. You cheated."
"Yes, and I can explain."
I begged for a chance to put it into context...
But the phone went dead.
Later, you called,
And the only poem I didn't read to you,
The one to you that was most profound...
LOVE ME BEAUTIFUL...LOVE ME UGLY...
(Who knew my portfolio),
Would give ME a second chance.
After much discussion,
Of your "Lesbianism",
Your marraige of "Convenience",
And my "cheating",
We managed to put it all under the bridge.
But when you, called me back...you said...
"I wasn't going to call back,
After the cheating thing,
But I read your stuff and it's great."
You called, but didn't say what we both knew to be true,
"I called, because when the sun goes down,
It's time to resolve the days issues,mis-understandings, arguements....you know...
So we all can get some sleep."
I didn't like the smoke, or the beer,
But it's up to me to see if it's a knee jerk reaction...
To my own inner demons.
Or if there is nothing to worry about at all,
Because this is what makes you real...
An imperfect character...just like I am.
And the way you greet me,
"How are you today, Ma'am?"
Makes you a real gent.
I appreciate you,
For listening, for sharing, for caring enough,
To tell me the truth now.
That you are not some bi-curious chick looking for the:
DESSERT GAS STATION ATTENDANT...Who wants to use me up.
I love you for your subtle ways,
In which you show me concern...
That even though you do find me attractive,
It's my heart and brain that attracts you.
And you know what is in the road ahead,
That there may come a time when I can't say...
I Love You, for a moment, a week,
Or maybe even a month or more.
It wouldn't be that I didn't,
It would just be resting in my manic-depression...
Somewhere, to be sifted out.
And you said, you could do that.
That in fact, to a degree you had done it before...
Your are real, with limits, with dreams, without expectations.
You are sincere, honest and loyal to the truth;
Or you would have never told me you were married...
You are strong, and polite, and earnest.
Yeah tigger...
"I can handle you, LIKE THAT."
