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Sir, I've read all your literature
About radiation and global warming,
Genetically modified organisms,
Carcinogens and carbon emissions--

And I must say I'm really impressed--
If cigarettes and booze won't kill me,
Then surely it will be melting ice caps
And rising sea levels--

They've been predicting it since the '70s--
Yes, I may still be alive,
But surely not my ancestors
Even if we avoid
The nukes from Iran and North Korea--

While our prez is totally insane,
Deporting all them foreigners
And trying to gut Obamacare--
Yes sirree, I understand completely
Where you are coming from--

For something drastic has to be done,
And it will cost trillions of dollars--
But we must all do our part
To save the planet
From the ravages of capitalism,
While the politicians and pundits
Get filthy rich
As the working stiffs get shafted
With more lies and promises.

Yes, I've read all the pertinent literature
And I'm thoroughly convinced
That both dems and reps are full of shit,
And I still love Russia and the Russian people
And I'm ready to collude with anyone
Who is a thinking human being

And not some self-righteous asshole,
Trying to save the world or my misguided soul,
Or kill me in the name of Allah--
For I don't give a fuck about
Some murderous pedophile prophet
And his misguided followers,
Masturbating in front of Mecca,
Any more than I care for Christian
Fundamentalists or political
Correctness--

So you can stuff your 50+ genders
Up your ass or in whatever toilet
You choose to piss in,
And I will use any pronoun of my choice
Or refer to humanity as mankind
If I choose to,
And I'll vote or not vote for
Whomever I want--

So fuck all your self-righteousness
And your uninsured ass--
For life offers no insurance--
And if a truck hits you tomorrow,
It was not the Russians
Or global warming--
It was your stupid ass
Not watching where you are going.

So I'll see your hole in the ozone
And raise you greenhouse gases,
Hoping the aliens will come soon
And set the record straight.

July 14, 2017

--Alexander Shaumyan